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JESS
The aircraft jerked again, a low rumble vibrating through the cabin, and I instinctively tightened my grip on the armrest. Outside the window, the clouds looked dense and grey, swirling as we descended, but it was the sudden feeling in my chest that had me clutching the armrest with white–knuckled intensity.
“Do you think… do you think this was how they felt?” I murmured, my voice barely audible over the hum of the engines. “That first flicker of panic…and then everything just….went down.” I let out a shaky breath, the weight of those words hanging in the air between us. It wasn’t something I thought I’d bring up here, but the sensation clawed at me, an unshakable
- whisper of fear.
Laura blinked, clearly taken aback, her eyes darting to mine with uncertainty. She pressed her lips together, searching for words, but I could tell she didn’t have any comforting answers.
“I don’t even want to imagine how scared they must have been,” she finally said, her voice soft and steady. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to…” She trailed off, glancing down, and for a moment, we sat in silence, both caught in our own thoughts.
The plane lurched again, a steeper descent this time, and I heard the murmur of nervous passengers around us. But Laura‘ s hand reached over, wrapping around mine, grounding me. Her fingers squeezed reassuringly, and I took a deep breath, focusing on the warmth of her hand instead of the memories
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pushing into my mind.
“We’re going to be fine,” Laura said, her voice carrying al determination that helped settle some of the anxiety creeping up inside me. “This is just turbulence. Nothing more.”
I nodded, trying to match her confidence, but the feeling. lingered, gnawing at the edges of my mind. They probably thought the same thing…
Laura squeezed my hand tighter, her gaze shifting, and I could feel her eyes studying me. There was something else she wanted to say, something weighing on her.
“Jess,” she started, her tone softer now, “what about Marcelo?” Probably trying to distract me.
I blinked, surprised. “What about him?”
. She bit her lip, her cheeks coloring as she looked away, and for the first time since we’d taken off, a small smile tugged at her lips. “I…well, he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever met.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but I heard the warmth in it, the way it sounded like a confession of her own secret joy.
I stared at her for a second, stunned. Then, a laugh bubbled up, unexpected and almost too loud in the quiet of the cabin. “Oh, please,” I chuckled, looking down, shaking my head. “I’m… I’m pregnant, and I don’t even know what I’m doing half the time. And he thinks I’m beautiful? He must need his head checked.”
Laura laughed too, the sound of it easy and bright, but she kept her hand on mine, her thumb brushing back and forth. comfortingly. She shook her head, still smiling as she looked at
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- me. “You are beautiful, Jess. And you’re… everything he sees. I mean, he’s right, you know.”
I sighed, leaning back in the seat, “Can’t even think about it you know,” I murmured, glancing out the window. The clouds had. started to thin, sunlight breaking through as we descended.
I took a deep breath, my gaze drifting to the edge of the armrest as I traced its cold, metallic line with my finger. “Laura,” I started, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m broken. I’m grieving. And I know… I know I should be finding a way forward, putting the pieces back together. But I don’t have that glimmer of light you seem to be finding. I wish I did. I wish I could see hope again, but my heart… it just can’t.” I could feel my throat tighten as I spoke, each word raw, scraping against wounds still so fresh. “Not right now. I have to focus on this baby, on figuring out what life is going to be like without… without them.”
Laura’s hand tightened over mine, and I glanced up to see her face, her eyes just as clouded with grief. She looked away for a moment, struggling for words, then finally whispered, “Jess… I‘ m not sure that I’m really moving on. I’m trying. I’m trying so hard, but if I’m honest…” Her voice trembled. “I’m faking it all the time. Every smile, every laugh–it’s all pretend. I still miss him- God, I miss him so much.”
Her confession hit me harder than I expected, and a painful kind of understanding settled between us, the kind only shared by those who’ve lost someone they loved too much to ever let go. The hum of the plane faded, every noise blurring into the background. I reached for her hand, holding it tightly. For a moment, we were just… here, together, in this shared silence, clinging to each other as–though letting go would send us spiraling all over again.
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I looked out the window, gathering my thoughts before whispering, “Maybe we don’t have to figure it all out right now. Maybe… maybe it’s okay if we’re both just… faking it. Just one step at a time, you know?”
Laura’s fingers tightened around mine. She nodded, a faint, bittersweet smile forming on her lips. “One step,” she echoed, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like maybe, somehow, that might be enough.
ATTEMPT 1: FAILED
