Marcello.
I hesitated before opening the message.
Ma chère Jess, it began. Le ciel parisien semble un peu moins
- lumineux en ton absence.
I frowned, translating the French automatically. The Parisian sky feels a little less bright while you are away.
The message was beautiful, poetic, and… hollow. It felt wrong to read it, like I was betraying Luke by even acknowledging it. I wasn’t close to even being remotely ready just to acknowledge that Luke is dead. I was even less ready for whatever Marcello
was.
I locked the phone without replying and tossed it back onto the bed.
Laura noticed but didn’t comment. She simply gave me a knowing look, as if she could read my thoughts and had decided
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1288 Moun
to let it slide–for now.
“Come on,” she said, tossing me a loose sweater. “Let’s get this over with.”
The waiting room was sterile and quiet, the low hum of the air conditioning the only sound as Laura sat beside me, flipping through a magazine she wasn’t really reading. I couldn’t focus on anything–the words in the magazine, the ticking of the clock. on the wall, nothing.
My mind was a whirlpool of questions and fears I wasn’t ready to face.
Finally, the nurse came to get us. I stood up quickly, my legs unsteady, but Laura was there to steady me, her hand resting lightly on my arm.
I took a deep breath as we followed her down the corridor, each ⚫ step feeling like it led me further into a nightmare I couldn’t
escape.
The doctor’s office was small, with walls painted a calming shade of pale green. The OB–GYN, a man in his mid–forties, stood by the counter as we entered. His smile was kind, but there was something in his eyes–something that made the air between us thick with unspoken words.
I sat down on the exam table, trying to steady my breathing. Laura stood at my side, her arm lightly draped over my shoulder. Her presence was the only thing keeping me anchored.
The doctor turned toward me, his eyes softening, but there was a hesitation in his movements, as if he didn’t quite know how to approach me. I could see it–the pity in his gaze, the unspoken
words hovering on the edge of his lips. He wanted to say something, I could feel it, and I hated it. I hated the way he looked at me, as if I was some fragile thing about to break apart.
“Dr. Murray?” Laura’s voice cut through the silence, firm and protective. “Please. Don’t. I just got here, Doc. Please just make sure she’s okay, and the baby is…”
Her voice cracked slightly, but she cleared her throat and pressed on. “Please, just do your job. We’re not here for… anything else.”
I stood behind Laura, my body tense, trying to control the rush of emotions that threatened to flood me. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides, and I had to fight to keep my voice steady when I finally spoke
“I–I don’t need… anyone’s pity,” I managed, my throat tight. “I just want to know if… if my baby’s okay.”
The doctor blinked at me as if caught off guard by my words, but Laura was already guiding him toward the task at hand.
The doctor nodded, though his expression still lingered with concern. As he moved to prepare the equipment, I closed my eyes for a moment, my chest tightening. I was barely holding it together.
The thought of doing this alone–without Luke–was unbearable.
words hovering on the edge of his lips. He wanted to say something, I could feel it, and I hated it. I hated the way he looked at me, as if I was some fragile thing about to break apart.
“Dr. Murray?” Laura’s voice cut through the silence, firm and protective. “Please. Don’t. I just got here, Doc. Please just make sure she’s okay, and the baby is…”
Her voice cracked slightly, but she cleared her throat and pressed on. “Please, just do your job. We’re not here for… anything else.”
I stood behind Laura, my body tense, trying to control the rush of emotions that threatened to flood me. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides, and I had to fight to keep my voice steady when I finally spoke.
“I–I don’t need… anyone’s pity,” I managed, my throat tight. “I just want to know if… if my baby’s okay.”
The doctor blinked at me as if caught off guard by my words, but Laura was already guiding him toward the task at hand.
The doctor nodded, though his expression still lingered with concern. As he moved to prepare the equipment, I closed my eyes for a moment, my chest tightening. I was barely holding it together.
The thought of doing this alone without Luke–was unbearable.
