OVERTHINKING
LAURA
It had been a whole week of awkward glances and total silence between Josh and me. Every time I passed him in the halls, he’d look at me–just for a second–and then immediately look away, like I was something too painful or shameful to face. The worst part? It didn’t matter. Not really. Because no matter how much I wanted to believe otherwise, Josh would never see me the way I saw him.
dragged my books closer to my chest as I walked past him again. He was leaning against the lockers, laughing at something one of his friends said. The sound of his laughter made my chest tighten, even though I knew better. He didn’t see me. Not really.
That night at the party–God, what was I thinking? Josh was drunk, and I was just… almost. Almost a convenient fuck. The kind of girl you don’t remember in the morning because she didn’t mean anything. And then that night at my house–he only stayed because he felt guilty. He hit me. It was an accident, but still… He stayed because he felt bad, not because he wanted to.
He didn’t stay because he liked me. Or because he thought I was worth his time. It was guilt. Plain and simple. And I needed to stop torturing myself by hoping it was anything else.
“Laura!” Jess’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned to see her and Sam walking toward me, Jess with her signature unimpressed expression and Sam grinning ear to ear like she
0.00%
OVERTHINKING
288 Vouchers
had just won the lottery.
“There’s a football game this weekend,” Sam announced, practically bouncing on her feet. “And we’re going.”
“We are?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Yes,” she said, emphasizing the word like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s going to be amazing. Hot boys running into each other over some stupid ball. Plus, there’s an afterparty. With more boys. Boys not from this godforsaken school.”
Jess groaned. “Why do you always do this, Sam? You know I hate football.”
“You hate football,” Sam said, waving her off, “but you don’t hate parties. And there will be cute guys there. Guys who don’t know every embarrassing thing about us because they don’t go here.”
“Pass,” Jess said flatly, crossing her arms. “You two go have fun. I’ll be at home with movies and snacks.”
Sam turned her attention to me, her eyes sparkling with determination. “You’re coming, right?”
I hesitated. Parties weren’t really my thing. Especially not after the last one. And the idea of watching Josh on the field,
pretending he didn’t know me, was about as appealing as swallowing nails. But the way Sam looked at me–so hopeful, so excited–I couldn’t bring myself to say no.
“I guess,” I said, forcing a small smile. “Why not?”
“Yes!” Sam clapped her hands together like she had just scored
OVERTHINKING
288 Vouchers
a major victory. “You won’t regret it. This is exactly what we need.”
“We?” Jess said, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, we,” Sam said. “Both of you need to stop being so mopey and start having some fun. Laura, you’ve been sulking all week, and Jess, you–well, you’re always moody, especially when you see Luke.”
Jess rolled her eyes, but I could see the hint of a smile tugging at her lips.
“I’m not sulking,” I muttered, even though I knew it was a lie. I’d been sulking, all right. Sulking, overthinking, replaying every awkward moment with Josh in my head until I wanted to
scream.
“You are,” Sam said, not unkindly. “And that’s okay. But this weekend, we’re changing that. New boys, new vibes, new everything. Trust me, it’ll be good for you.”
I tried to muster up some enthusiasm, but the truth was, I wasn‘ t sure anything could fix how I felt right now. How do you get over someone who was never yours in the first place? How do you stop wanting something you know you can never have?
Still, Sam’s excitement was contagious, and I didn’t want to be the one to burst her bubble.
“Fine,” I said, plastering on my best fake smile. “I’m in.”
“Yay!” Sam squealed, throwing her arms around me.
Jess groaned again but didn’t argue, which I took as a sign that
OVERTHINKING
288 Vouchers
she’d probably cave and come with us. She always did, eventually.
As we walked down the hall, Sam launched into a detailed plan for the game and the afterparty, her words tumbling out so fast I could barely keep up. I nodded along, pretending to listen, but my mind was somewhere else.
Somewhere down the hall, Josh was probably still standing by his locker, laughing with his friends, completely unaware of the mess he’d left behind. I stole a glance over my shoulder, half- hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but he was already gone.
And maybe that was for the best.
