THIS IS IT
LAURA
Josh suddenly gripped my shoulder and spun me around, the thin strap of my tank top sliding down my arm as I stumbled back against the wall. His gaze barely flicked to it before his lips were on mine again, fiery and demanding, leaving me no room to think, no room to breathe.
The kiss was consuming, his body pressing into mine with an intensity that both terrified and thrilled me. His hands felt like they were everywhere–burning trails of fire over my arms, my waist, my hips. My fingers slid up his chest, trembling slightly as they traced the hard muscles beneath his shirt. I twisted the fabric in my hands, holding on for dear life as his mouth moved relentlessly against mine.
“Josh,” I whispered against his lips, though I didn’t even know what I wanted to say.
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He didn’t answer. His kisses were incessant, moving from my mouth to my jaw, down my throat, his teeth grazing my skin in a way that made my breath hitch. My head fell back against the wall, my hands clutching him tighter as he kissed along my shoulder, his stubble rough but intoxicating.
When he stepped closer, closing the last inch of space between us, I felt it—him.
His arousal pressed against my lower stomach, hot and hard and unmistakable. The realization sent a jolt through me, heat
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THIS IS IT
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pooling low in my belly as my breath caught in my throat.
Josh groaned, a low, guttural sound that made my knees feel weak. “You’ve been driving me crazy,” he whispered, his voice rough and ragged.
His words sent shivers down my spine, and for a moment, the world around us disappeared. There was only him, only the way his hands gripped my hips, pulling them away from the wall, and the way his body moved against mine, setting every nerve in my body alight.
“Josh,” I muttered his name again, my voice barely above a whisper, but he didn’t seem to hear me.
He was too focused, his lips finding the sensitive spot just beneath my ear. His breath was warm against my skin, his kisses making my head spin.
“Hmmm?” he murmured distractedly, the sound vibrating against my neck.
I swallowed hard, my hands still gripping his shirt. My mind raced, a chaotic mix of desire and doubt. This was it. This was my moment.
If I wanted to, I could just let this happen. I could let him take me, let him give me something I’d never had before.
I wanted to. God, I wanted to.
Josh,” I said again, a little louder this time.
He pulled back just enough to meet my eyes, his gaze dark and filled with something I couldn’t quite place. His hands stayed on
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my hips, firm but not forceful, grounding me in the whirlwind of emotions.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice softer now but still thick with tension.
I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. “I want you to…” I trailed off, my cheeks burning as tried to find the right words. “I want you to have sex with me.”
His brows shot up, surprise flickering across his face. “What?”
“I mean, with me,” I corrected quickly, my face flushing even more. “Not… not to me. With me.
Josh stared at me, his hands still on my hips, his chest rising and falling as he took in my words. For a moment, I thought he might laugh or say something to break the tension, but instead, his expression softened.
“Laura,” he said quietly, his voice filled with something I couldn’t quite identify–something almost gentle.
“What?” I whispered, my heart pounding.
He leaned in, his forehead resting against mine as his thumbs brushed lightly over my hips. “You don’t want this,” he said, his voice low and steady.
“Yes, I do,” I insisted, my hands still gripping his shirt. “I-”
“No, you don’t,” he interrupted gently but firmly. He pulled back just enough to look me in the eye, his gaze intense. “You think you do, but you don’t. Not like this.”
I blinked, stunned into silence.
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THIS IS IT
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my hips, firm but not forceful, grounding me in the whirlwind of emotions.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice softer now but still thick with tension.
I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. “I want you to…” I trailed off, my cheeks burning as I tried to find the right words. “I want you to have sex with me.”
His brows shot up, surprise flickering across his face. “What?”
“I mean, with me,” I corrected quickly, my face flushing even more. “Not… not to me. With me.
Josh stared at me, his hands still on my hips, his chest rising and falling as he took in my words. For a moment, I thought he might laugh or say something to break the tension, but instead, his expression softened.
“Laura,” he said quietly, his voice filled with something I couldn’t quite identify–something almost gentle.
“What?” I whispered, my heart pounding.
He leaned in, his forehead resting against mine as his thumbs brushed lightly over my hips. “You don’t want this,” he said, his voice low and steady.
“Yes, I do,” I insisted, my hands still gripping his shirt. “I-”
“No, you don’t,” he interrupted gently but firmly. He pulled back just enough to look me in the eye, his gaze intense. “You think you do, but you don’t. Not like this.”
I blinked, stunned into silence.
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Josh sighed, his hands falling from my hips as he stepped back, putting a small but insurmountable distance between us. “I want you, Laura. God, do I want you,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “But not like this. Not when you’re not sure. Not when you’re just… ticking a box.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I felt my eyes sting with unshed tears.
“I’m not…” I started, but my voice faltered.
Josh gave me a small, sad smile, his hand brushing lightly against my cheek. “You deserve better than this,” he said softly. “Better than me.”
opened my mouth to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come. He stepped back again, his hands clenching into fists at his sides as if he was forcing himself to keep the distance.
The air between us felt heavy, charged with everything we weren’t saying.
Finally, Josh let out a long breath and turned away, running a hand through his hair again.
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