NEW LIFE
THE NOW
JOSH
The labor ward felt heavy with a mix of emotions–hope, fear, and exhaustion. I sat in one of the stiff hospital chairs, my sweet baby girl cradled in my arms. She was wrapped in a soft pink blanket, her tiny face scrunched in sleep, her little lips making occasional sucking motions. She was perfect–every inch of her.
Luke sat beside me, his knee bouncing up and down like a nervous tic. He was waiting, glancing at the clock every few seconds, waiting for Jess and their baby to join us. Jess had been in the theater for an emergency procedure, and Luke had been there with her. But their little boy had been taken for checks and tests, leaving Luke pacing and restless ever since.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” I said, breaking the silence.
Luke shot me a look, but his lips twitched into a brief smile. “I can’t help it, man. I just need to see them both. I need to know they’re okay.”
“I get it,” I said softly, glancing down at my daughter. “Believe me, I get it.”
My own nerves were frayed to the breaking point. It had been two months since Laura went into the coma. Two months of
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sitting by her bedside, begging her to wake up. And now, with her pneumonia, I couldn’t even go in to see her. The doctors had warned me about the risk of giving Asha a lung infection, so I kept my distance.
The guilt was suffocating.
The sound of doors opening snapped me out of my thoughts. Luke shot to his feet as nurses pushed Jess into the room, holding their baby boy in her arms.
The look on Luke’s face was everything–relief, joy, and overwhelming love. He rushed to her side, kissing her forehead and then their son, his hands trembling as he cradled the baby.
I couldn’t help but smile at the scene. “Don’t worry, baby girl,” Î whispered to my daughter, even though my heart felt heavy. “We’ll have that moment too. I promise.”
But my promise felt hollow, and I hated that. The doctors had been cautious with their words, never giving me the certainty I craved. Laura had fought off the pneumonia for now, but her lungs were still weak, and every test they ran seemed to bring
worse news.
The word if lingered in my mind, the way the doctor said it when he mentioned her waking up. Not when. If.
I swallowed hard, pushing the thought away. Leouldn’t think like that. Laura was strong. She had to be. For me. For our daughter.
I glanced down at Asha again. Her tiny fingers had curled around the edge of her blanket, and her face was so peaceful it almost hurt to look at her. She didn’t know it yet, but she was my anchor. My reason to keep going.
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One of the nurses had called her Asha earlier, and something about the name had stuck. Asha–it meant life and hope. And that’s exactly what she was to me. My life and my hope.
“Asha,” I whispered, testing the name out loud. It felt right.
Luke’s voice pulled me back to the present. He was laughing softly, holding his baby boy while Jess leaned against him, her face glowing with exhaustion and happiness.
“She’s beautiful,” Jess said, her voice warm as she looked over at me. “Laura would be so proud
My throat tightened, and I could only nod.
“She’s going to wake up, Josh,” Jess said firmly, as if she could hear the doubt in my silence. “I know it’s taking time, but she will. And when she does, you’ll both get to enjoy this together. Just like me and Luke.”
I wished I could beliève her with the same conviction. But every passing day felt heavier than the last. Every day without Laura felt like a piece of me was being chipped away.
I adjusted Asha in my arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She stirred slightly but stayed asleep, her little hand brushing against my chest.
Jess nodded, her eyes soft. “We’ll get through this, Josh. All of us.”
I didn’t have the words to respond, so I just held Asha a little‘ tighter and tried to hold on to the hope her name carried.
