Chapter One Hundred–Forty–Four
FELIX
Having breakfast with Rainier’s friend Bartlett was strangely uplifting. When Rainier first left me there to go take care of something which I’m sure was French for go home to my wife – I nearly broke down in tears. All the strength that I’d gathered for myself on the yacht after my private meltdown, was completely spent with just the ride over. Having to sit next to him, talk to him, pretend there was nothing wrong for him, even after I’d already said my silent goodbye to him, took every bit of strength in me. Everything I had left in my mental reservoir was depleted. I felt beat down. Weak. Worthless and altogether stupid. So the moment Rainier disappeared out the back door of that bar, my bravado completely crumpled.
Bartlett, the incredibly sensitive soul that he is, noticed right off. It started with a few concerned looks my way as we sat down to enjoy the heaping amount of food he’d made. Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, crispy golden fried hash browns, biscuits with gravy, fruit – you get the picture. My eyes damn near popped right out of my head when be brought it all out.
I’d said, “I appreciate your cooking all this, but… um… I don’t know if I be able to finish must of it.”
He’d laughed heartily and said, “Well that’s okay, because I don’t expect you to. I only made this much because I didn’t know what you
liked. So just eat what you can, and that will be fine.”
I’d attempted to smile back as cheerfully as I could, but I must not have done a very good job because he’d commented on it.
There’s no need for you to pretend with me, Felix. You don’t have to keep hiding behind that phony smile. I can tell you’re struggling with something. I won’t pry,” he said.
The next smile I’d given him was different. It was honestly charming and incredibly sad at the same time. And as my face fell and I’d drawn in a deep breath Id whined, “I’m an idiot.”
He’d shaked his head and said, “Don’t call yourself that. You’re not an int. Now, I don’t know what went on between you two, but knowing Rain as well as I do I could probably take a guess. Rain is a complicated guy. Always has been. He’s made certain… adjustments to his life in order to protect himself. Adjustments that I’m betting he regretting right about now.”
“Adjustments?” I’d asked. “Like what?”
Bartlett granted me a big full tooth smile and had said, “He chose to close his heart long ago, I don’t think he ever imagined opening it up again. He’s not the type to lose control, or share his feelings. He’s not the one to do anything frivolous either, or half–hearted. Whenever he does something, be it bring me a new and beautiful bartender or make a promise to her to be back for lunch – you better believe there’s meaning behind it. Even if you may find that hard to believe, cucumstances being what they are.”
“Right,” I’d said somewhat snidely. “Circumstances. The kind that you should tell someone about before letting that person make a fool out of themself. Especially when a fool is all I’ve ever been.“
He’d shaken his head again and said. “Never feel like that for putting your heart on the line, Felix. Doing so never makes you a fool. The fool is the one who doesn’t take that chance. The fool is the one who thought he’d never have to.”
“It’s better to have loved and lost and all that, right?” I’d quoted and my eyes had filled with tears. “So then I suppose I should be grateful in just having met him. A lot of people go through life without ever meeting the one. At least I had him for a day.”
The one… You seem like a very intuitive person. I’m sure you and Rain have only just met, right?” he’d asked,
I nodded, not even bothering to feel the least bit embarrassed for how damb I probably sounded. “A couple of days ago. But… just like some people never meet, I guess some people only get to have a day. He lied to me. I laid it all out there for him. I asked him point black if there was someone else. And he lied to me.”
Just a second, now, Don’t go assuming things so soon,” Bartlett had said stemnly. “Rainier is not much of a liar. Marybe you didn’t ask the right question. Or maybe he misunderstood the question. I don’t know, I can’t speak for Rain, because it’s not my place, but just do me a
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Chapter One Hundred Forty Four
Anything,” I’d answered honestly,
You seem like a really understanding person. Hed sighed, “Dont coud him as a loss just yet. Just trust me, he’s like a brother. Give him chance to answer to explain himself. Try and give him the benefit of the doubt. If you really and truly believe he is the one, and I think that you do, why in the hell would you be willing to throw that away?”
I’d started to answer him, but he held up his hand and laughed.
“Okay, yeah, I get it. No need to say it, he’d chuckled. “But everyone makes mistakes, Felix. A lot of times it’s when they’re trying to do the
thing Or when they’re trying to protect someone they love and they’re scared to death of losing them. Trust me. It happens more often than not. Just keep an open mind.”
After that, he showed me the apartment, told me what my duties would be and reassured me that either he or Draven would train me. Apparently it would have to wait until tomorrow because tonight the bar would be closed. Then he left me alone to stew in my new space. So I took the time to shower and change back into the clothes I had on before walking to the window to stare at Hector’s car.
I knew Hector always left a spare set of keys in a hidden compartment under his floor mat. If he really wasn’t getting out, I knew I could use his car to get far away from here. And as much as I wanted to keep my promise to Bartlett, I knew it was best for everyone involved if I just disappeared. I’m not cut out to be a mistress. Or a homewrecker. I don’t want to be the reason someone else’s heart is broken. So even on the off chance that Rainier wanted me instead of his wife, I knew I had to go.
I stand here staring out the window at Hector’s car, I realize something. I left Rainiers Sheriff jacket on the yacht and I won’t even one damn thing to remember him by when I go. Unless I drive over there when I leave and break in to grab it. I smile as I decide
what I’ll do. I’ll leave tonight and then on my way out, 111 grab his jacket.
My eyes water as more tears come creeping in. As I turn away from the window, I hear tires screeching around a corner and then more tires screech right down below, I take another look out the window and whimper when I see who it is.
Painiers SUV is now parked next to Hector’s car. It’s way too early for lunch. What is he doing back so sour? I watch him get out of the car still wearing the same clothes as before, his muscles flexing against his tight navy blue shirt and in exposed skin of his arms. Jesus he is so damn sexy. His face is troubled, but still handsome as hell. In fact, I dont think there is a single face he could make that would change the fact that hes beautiful.
“Why do you have to be so perfect?” I hiss at the window.
He looks up as he’s walking toward the bar and his eyes lock with mine, The look on his face the moment he sees me makes my heart stutter. His features relaxed, the trouble from before, gone. He appears relieved. And for some dumb damn reason that I cannot comprehend, that one little detail gives me hope.
