Chapter 77
Aubrey
I walk behind Soren; his shoulders are tense, and the usual ease of his stride is replaced by a stiffness that makes my stomach churn. As we ascend the staircase to our room, I can’t help but replay Max’s innocent words in my head, words that seemed to hang in the air long after I tucked him into bed and switched off his dinosaur lamp.
The silence between us feels heavy, a heavyweight that presses down on my chest. With every step, I glance at Soren’s profile, searching for a hint of emotion, but he’s a mask of neutrality. Still, something about the way he hasn’t so much as glanced my way since we left Max’s room tells me he heard more than enough.
I follow him, my mind racing with possibilities. Did Max’s words stir some dormant feelings within Soren? Or perhaps it’s the opposite–maybe he’s upset, thinking I’ve overstepped boundaries with his son. The questions gnaw at me, unsettling the comfort I’ve found in this place, in this makeshift family I never asked to be a part of but now find myself smack in the middle.
We enter the bedroom, and the familiar space suddenly feels foreign and too small; I suddenly feel unwelcome. I watch Soren move around, his actions deliberate and precise. There’s a methodical nature to the way he removes his jacket and places it over the back of a chair, a routine that seems to exclude me tonight as he gets ready for bed.
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Chapter 77
“Is everything okay?” I ask, my voice a whisper against the thick silence.
He pauses for a moment, his back still turned to me. I wait, holding my breath, but he doesn’t speak. Instead, he resumes his nightly ritual, leaving my question to dissipate into the quiet room.
The room’s silence stretches taut as I linger by the door, my fingers twisting together at the uncertainty. Soren’s shoulders are rigid as he pulls back the duvet. His jaw is set, and even from behind, I can sense the walls he’s erected.
“Listen, Soren,” I start, edging closer, my voice barely above a murmur, “I’m sorry if what Max said earlier caused any
discomfort. It wasn’t my intention to-”
My words hang incomplete as he slides into bed without acknowledging me, pulling the covers up in a smooth motion that doesn’t betray a single ripple of emotion. I stand there, a figure rooted in place, my apology dissolving into the cool air of the room. “I can stay in my room if you prefer?” I offer.
“Not necessary,” he answers, and I chew my lip, suddenly feeling out of place as he switches his lamp on and grabs his book. “Can you turn the light off?” he asks, opening the book but not glancing at me.
I flick the light off, so the only light remaining comes from his dim lamp beside the bed. Retrieving my pajamas I move to the bathroom to get changed into my pajamas. As I slip into my soft cotton nightwear, I steal a glance at him through the slightly ajar bathroom door. His attention is lost in the cream pages of his book.
Returning to the room, I hesitantly approach the bed, careful
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not to disturb him. The floor creaks under my weight and his eyes flicker towards me for a brief second before returning to his book.
The pages rustle as he flicks them. I hesitate, wondering if I should sleep on the sofa by the window. Without lifting his gaze, he pats the empty place beside him. His silent invitation causes an awkward flutter in my stomach. I quietly climb into bed, tugging at the duvet.
A silent sigh escapes me as I watch him, the moonlight casting a pale glow over his form. The stillness between us is a chasm I’m hesitant to bridge. I am about to roll over and try to sleep when he speaks.
“Max… he misses having a mom around, despite not remembering what having one around is like,” Soren finally says, his voice low and even. It’s the first acknowledgment of the elephant in the room, and it catches me off guard. He doesn’t look at me, staring instead at the book in his hand, but there’s a softness in his tone that wasn’t there before.
I swallow, feeling the weight of Max’s innocent words from bedtime. “I know,” I reply softly. “And I want you to understand, Soren, I’m not trying to step into her shoes. I’m here for Max, to care for him, but I’m not trying to replace your wife.”
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