Chapter 69
Adeline West
How could he do this to me again?
Why? Why this pain? From the day my mother died, my life was filled with pain but nothing else. Why moon goddess! why?
My chest ached, my breaths shallow and uneven. The betrayal, the anger, the hurt–it all piled up, suffocating me. I had spent years trying to build myself back up, piece by piece, after Killian had destroyed me. But one look at him, one heated argument, and it all came crumbling down.
“I hate him,” I whispered between sobs, my voice shaking. “I hate him so much.”
But even as I said the words, even as I screamed them in my head, a cruel part of me knew the truth. It wasn’t hate–it was far worse than that. Because the pain that ripped through me wasn’t the kind of pain you feel for someone you hate. It was the kind of pain you feel when someone you once loved with everything you had betrays you so deeply that you can’t ever fully let go.
He was my mate, my husband and the one I thought I would spend my days loved by, but his betrayal cut deep through me. His rejection and his affair with Laurel broke me. Even after five years, his betrayal and the pain it followed wouldn’t stop.
The tears wouldn’t stop. My entire body shook with the force of them, each sob a release of years of bottled–up emotions I thought I’d buried long ago. I was crying for every moment of heartache Killian had caused me, and for the way he h shattered my soul when he rejected me. I was crying for the years of loneliness and for the way he had ruined me. A for the way he had walked back into my life and turned everything upside down again.
10W,
Sebastian was gone. He had walked away because of Killian’s possessiveness. He hadn’t even listened to me. He hadn’t cared to hear the truth–that Killian was my past, that he had rejected me, thrown me out like I was nothing, and left me to pick up the pieces of my shattered life. Sebastian was supposed to be my future, my chance to escape from the pain, and now Killian had destroyed that too.
Why did it have to be him?
The thought screamed in my mind. Why did the Moon Goddess have to pair me with Killian Volkov, the one man who was capable of destroying me over and over again? What did I do to deserve this fate?
I clawed at the floor, desperate for something–anything–to hold on to, but there was nothing. Nothing but the gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be, now nothing but broken shards. I hated him with every ounce of my being. I hated him for walking back into my life and for taking everything from me again. But most of all, I hated him for thinking so little of me and for believing I could betray him.
“Sebastian,” I choked out, the image of him storming out flashing in my mind. I had told him that there was nothing between me and Killian. I had lied. There was something between Killian and me, something that never went away, no matter how much I tried to bury it. And now Sebastian knew the truth, and he was gone.
It hurt in a different way–the loss of Sebastian. But even as my mind screamed at me to chase after him, to fix things, a darker truth gnawed at me.
Killian still had a hold over me, and I hated that. I hated that a part of me still felt tethered to him, even after everything he had done. How could he think I’d cheated on him? How could he believe I’d betrayed him with Sebastian when all I ever did was try to make our marriage work?
The memory of that night flashed before my eyes–Killian’s cold, distant eyes as he threw me out of his life, accusing me that I killed his sister. It was the same coldness I saw today, even when his words burned with jealousy and anger. He had no right to feel that way. He had no right to walk into my life and tear it apart again, not after the way he’d discarded me, like I was nothing.
Iscreamed. I screamed because I couldn’t take it anymore. I screamed until my throat felt raw, until the pain inside me was
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Chapter 69
too much to bear.
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“How could you, Killian?!” My voice cracked as I spoke to the empty room, my tears mixing with my words. “How could you ruin everything again? I hate you!”
But even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true. I didn’t hate him. That was the problem. My heart ached because, deep down, the mate bond between us had never fully broken, no matter how hard I had tried to sever it. That cursed mate bond tied me to him and made me feel things I didn’t want to feel.
I was so angry. So hurt. So tired.
I didn’t know how much longer I could keep doing this. How much longer could I keep pretending that I was fine, that I had moved on, and that I didn’t care about Killian anymore? The truth was, I hadn’t moved on. Not really. Sebastian was a wonderful man, and I cared for him deeply, but he wasn’t my mate.
God, I hated myself for even thinking that.
Killian had hurt me more than anyone else in the world, but he was still the man I had loved with all my heart. And the Moon Goddess had bound us together in a way that felt like a cruel joke. How was I supposed to let go of him when every fiber of my being still felt the pull of that bond, that connection that tied me to him?
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