Chapter 174
Fiona POV
I got to the clearing just in time to see my mother pinned to the ground by two wolves, her head moving back and forth as she tried desperately to buck them off of her. Regan didn’t stand a chance. Even as I ran forward, dispatching the first one, I never noticed the third rogue moving from the shadows to come forward, taking the first one’s place and quickly clawing across Regan’s throat as she tried to get to her feet. It was as though everything happened in slow motion, like in a horror movie. I finished killing one rogue and turned to see the blood spurting from her throat and onto the grass beneath her. Rage swept over me, and it was as though I had become possessed. As my mother’s body dropped to the ground with a low howl, I turned my attention to the other two rogues, taking them down, not caring how badly I injured them until they were beaten bloody pulps, lying on the ground. I moved closer to Regan, but she wasn’t moving. I couldn’t breathe. I ignored the fact there were still rogues in the forest and shifted to my human form. My body raced to her side. I was in a state of disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. As much as I had resented her, as much as I had claimed to hate her, I never wanted this, and I refused to believe the truth that was staring me right in the eyes.
I gathered her in my arms, trying to find a pulse as I gripped her wrist. There was none. Her eyes stared blankly up at nothing, and there was no life inside of them. They were like black obsidian. Her body had shifted back to human form, and she was nude, exposed to the elements.. My body began to shake. I felt as though I was about to convulse. It couldn’t be. No. It was impossible. She couldn’t be dead. Regan was a white wolf, just like me. She had years of experience fighting. She had to be asleep, I convinced myself, sinking to my knees and holding her in my lap. Regan was asleep, and she would wake up soon. I just had to wait. I refused to leave her. I was covered in blood, sweat, and tears, but I refused to budge from my seat, regardless of how uncomfortable the hardness of the ground was. I blamed myself for not being quicker and for not getting here faster. I felt the presence of somebody behind me, but I didn’t turn my head. I knew that scent anywhere. As did I know the scents that wafted in from the side of me as they shifted into human forms. I felt my hand shaking as they let out mournful howls and came close to me. My father’s eyes flooded with tears as he took in the scene of his mate. My heart broke. I had never seen such anguish on a man’s face before. I tried hard to reassure him that all was well. Regan was fine. Couldn’t they see that? She was just asleep. Any minute now, she would wake up. She had never failed to come back from battle before. She couldn’t start now.
“She’s just sleeping,” I whispered through quivering lips, my heart beginning to race wildly in my chest as I took in the devastated look on Xander’s face. “She’s just sleeping,” I breathed.
She just needed to wake up. I shook her slightly, feeling frustrated when she refused to blink her eyes or come to. What was wrong with her? Why was she scaring us all like this? Couldn’t she see how worried we all were? Xander and Xavier weren’t moving from their positions, staring at me as though I had gone insane. My breath caught in my throat.
My mate put a hand on my shoulder. His voice when he speaks is filled with grief.
“Let go of her, Fiona. Put her down. You can’t do anything for her now and her mates,” he pauses to look at Xavier and Xander who are looking at me in shock, “her mates want to be with her. Come on,” he urged.
I refuse to believe it. If Regan is gone, then I haven’t had the chance to tell her how I truly feel, to tell her that I don’t hate her. I was just hurting when I severed ties with my family. I want to take it all back. I would take it all back in a moment if only Regan would come back to life.
Something snaps inside of me. “No,” I shouted, turning to stare at him and taking him aback, “I will not let go of my mother,” I screamed, holding her tightly to my chest and daring him to try and take her from me.
My arms are tight, refusing to let go. I have to take it all back. Every hurtful thing I said to her. I have to tell her I love her. I have to…my brain refuses to cooperate and begins to freeze as realization begins to dawn and I know that Regan is never going to wake up ever again. I lost my chance to tell her everything.
It’s
my
father who moves closer, his eyes filled with pain. “Fiona,” he said quietly, “Fiona, please let go of Regan. Princess, I know you’re hurting, but…”
He makes no move to come closer, his eyes watching me warily. He looks as though I’m some sort of danger or that I might prove to be a danger to them if they try and get too close.
1/2
Chapter 174
I let out a sob. “I didn’t get to her in time. She’s dead because of me,” I shouted at my mate as he knelt beside me. “I’m the reason she’s dead. I should have been quicker,” I screamed.
“It’s not your fault, Fiona.” My mate’s voice is soft as he gently begins to disengage my mother from my arms, my fathers standing there, looking lost. “You can’t blame yourself, okay. We were all fighting, and we all separated. Regan was saving the pack members just like you. If you keep blaming yourself, you’re going to go mad,” he added in a low whisper.
His arms are strong around me, but I still can’t believe she’s gone. I don’t want to. I should have been the one to die, not her.
“I severed ties with my mother,” I howled, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I told her that I wanted nothing to do with her. I can’t take it back,” I sobbed as my mate gently picked me up and embraced me tightly. “I can’t take it back, and I can’t say goodbye. I’m a monster” I whispered through shaking lips.
They say you never know what you have until it’s gone, and, in my place, all I could think about was what I had said to Regan, how rude I had been to her. Sure, she treated me differently to Celeste and I had resented that, but there were times she had been inexplicably kind, and she had done her best. She had been forced to deal with a child brought into this world by somebody she despised and had adopted me regardless. We might never have had the kind of relationship I had wanted, but it had been better than what some other children would have had. I owed her everything.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, raising eyes to meet my father’s. “I’m so sorry.”
www
They were silent. I saw Xavier bend down to pick up his mate, my mother, while Xander stood there, his face a picture of sadness and grief. They must have felt the mate bond sever as they were fighting, and now, they too were filled with remorse and regrets.
“We should never have left her alone,” Xander choked out, causing with her.”
me to
begin whimpering. “One of us should have stayed
Xavier shakes his head. “You know what she was like. How she could be. Stubborn and defiant. She hated it when we babysat her. As much as I wanted to keep an eye on her, our mate has always liked her independence. There is nothing we could have done.”
His voice is strangled. I turn my head into my mate’s chest and begin to cry, loud, choked sobs that fill the air and can be heard throughout the forest. The luna of the pack had just died and was now no more. My mother was gone, and I would never be able to lay eyes on her again, let alone beg her forgiveness. Pain coursed through me, and then I slumped dead against Liam, my body giving up on me and surrendering to the darkness as I fainted dead away.
