Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Cadog Brown added new wounds to old ones, and after being drenched in the rain, he ended up back in the hospital.
I heard from a friend that Cadog had been unconscious for two days, running a high fever that wouldn’t subside.
Just when the doctors were at a loss and told Ausra Clark to prepare for the worst, Cadog woke up.
When I received the news, I quietly made my way to the hospital, wanting to see what he was like now.
Cadog was sitting up, head bowed, as though lost in thought.
en I saw that he was alright, I planned to leave quietly.
But Câdog, as if sensing my presence, suddenly lifted his eyes and locked gazes with mine.
Those eyes were calm, steady.
And I recognized, instantly, that this wasn’t the Cadog I knew.
He had regained his memory.
“Diva.”
Cadog spoke.
Not “Divie.”
At that moment, my heart tightened, and breathing became difficult.
“I remember,” he continued.
My mind went blank. I only knew that Cadog was speaking, but his words made no sense to me.
In my mind, I could hear Cadog crying and blaming himself, that trembling hand, which he quickly withdrew.
Why did life always play these cruel jokes on me?
It told me I was wrong when I made my decision with conviction.
And when I finally understood, it told me it was already too late.
“I remember the time we spent together,” Cadog said, taking a deep breath.
He instinctively reached into his pocket, but when he didn’t find his cigarette pack, he let his hand fall back to his side.
It had become a habit he developed later.
“This reminds me of the past. It makes me reexamine our relationship.”
20
“I’m not sure if it’s because of the amnesia, but since waking up, there’s been this sour feeling in my chest. Your face keeps appearing in my mind.”
“But every time I think of you, my heart aches.”
I stood there, watching his calm face, unable to speak.
After all the struggles over these past few years, Cadog had learned to hide his emotions, to suppress his feelings, and to face the world with a calm demeanor.
The youthful recklessness that once marked him was gone, erased without a trace.
“After regaining my memory, I kept thinking back to the past. We could only afford a small apartment.”
“The bed was so small, we couldn’t even stretch our legs. The power kept tripping, and when it rained, the roof leaked. Yet, in that rundown
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Chapter 5
apartment, it was you and me.”
“You always told me, ‘It’s alright, you’re so talented. One day, you’ll make something of yourself.”
“At the time, I only had one thought: I had to get you into a big house, I had to give you the life you deserved.”
Cadog looked out the window, letting out a long sigh.
At that time, my wish was so simple.
As long as we could be happy, I would do whatever it took.
But when do people start to change?
on’t know.
Cadog turned to look at me, and that was when I saw the faint shimmer of tears in his eyes.
“Diva, I think I regret it.”
I heard him say.
He gave a painful smile, and tears slipped down his cheeks.
“Can we start over?”
“Let’s pretend nothing ever happened.”
I stared at him, only asking one question.
“What’s in the second–to–last drawer in the bathroom?”
Cadog froze, and for a moment, didn’t answer.
The room fell into an eerie silence.
“I meant it when I said I wanted us to remarry,” he finally spoke.
But he didn’t know.
He didn’t know what was in the second–to–last drawer in the bathroom.
He didn’t know how deeply he once loved me.
Now, saying these words, did he just feel that I was neither here nor there, or was it some sudden pang of conscience, a moment of pity?
I pressed my palm into my hand, desperately holding back the tears.
“Cadog, we’re divorced.”
“Do you remember? It was you who asked for the divorce.”
“You held Ausra Clark like she was someone repulsive, like you couldn’t wait to escape me. You left without a second thought.”
“Instead of trying to patch things up with me over some silly amnesia, maybe you should think about how to introduce your unborn child to its mother…”
I wanted to say more, but Cadog suddenly interrupted.
“Aussa isn’t pregnant.”
“She lied to you.”
It was like a thunderclap,
I stood frozen, unable to speak.
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Not pregnant.
She wasn’t pregnant.
If Ausra wasn’t pregnant, then what were Cadog’s struggles and hesitations?
What about the self–loathing he had carried, enduring the pain and apologizing in the pouring rain?
What did all of that mean?
He said, “I’m too dirty, Divie.”
His voice trembled, his words laced with a sobbing confession that still echoed in my ears.
steps I hadn’t taken, the goodbyes I hadn’t been able to say.
Cadog was still speaking, “If you don’t believe me, you can go to my office now and see the forged medical report…”
“Enough!”
I couldn’t bear it any longer. I shouted,
“Do you think it’s amusing to play with me like this? You’ve already cheated, and someone like you should know better than to keep coming back. You should disappear completely. Why won’t you just leave me alone?”
“I’ll never forgive you. Go die with your regrets!”
At that moment, Cadog stood in the rain, holding that forgotten plain ring. What I was he thinking?
It was the ring he had bought with the last of his money, but after the marriage, it had become something discarded in the corner like trash.
He had offered his heart, only to realize that nothing could be changed.
He denied his own feelings, wanting to use that ring as a token of their
love.
But even that small wish, heaven withheld from him, making him lose the ring he had cherished.
Now, the Cadog who had regained his memory casually dismissed everything with “regret,” negating the resolve he once made that night.
It wasn’t fair.
I took the ring out of my pocket and threw it at him, as if trying to return all the grievances and bitterness in my heart, along with the sincerity Cadog had once given me five years ago.
Now, he had not only betrayed me, but also betrayed his former self.
The ring hit his face, then fell into his palm.
Cadog stared at the ring, tightly gripping it.
I turned and walked away without looking back.
The Cadog I once longed for was gone.
Rather than cleaning up the mess and pretending everything could be fixed, I wanted to leave this place and never come back.
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