Chapter 21
Evie/ Georgie
Alaric shuts the door behind him, leaving me to wrap my arms around my legs and bury my head into my knees. Since I woke up, all I have felt for Alaric is bitterness. For two weeks he practically ignored me and put that she-wolf first, and then I started getting sick, and then he kissed her! And after that he marks me! I swear his contradictory actions make me feel crazy because nothing makes sense!
My doctor, whom I’ve forgotten the name of because I’ve been feeling so shocked, told me that Alaric marked me and that if he hadn’t, I would have died. Another reason for hating Alaric. Two reasons, actually. First, because that fucker claimed me and now, he can feel all my emotions, and two, because I think I would have rather died. I’ve been through so much that I’m sick of being strong. I wipe the tears from my face and close my eyes. Why couldn’t he have let me be?
And then, of course, to top it off, he walks in here, carrying a protein shake that she made. Because although he’s claimed me as his, he still can’t let her go. Well, you’ll have to get used to it, because she’s part of my life. His words ring in my head. Don’t ask me to choose between you and her. Because he won’t. That’s why I told Dharia I accepted his choice. I’m not going to ask him to choose between me and her. If he wants her in his life, he can have her. But I won’t be around to watch it. I’m not asking him to choose between us anymore. This bite mark doesn’t prove anything. Because I’m right. I’m never going to claim him. He will never be mine, especially when he won’t let her go. And I’m not going to hang around and watch him keep on choosing her. If I wanted to see that, I would have stayed in Swan Valley!
So, I’ve decided. I can’t stay in this pack anymore. Once I’m better, I’m leaving. I don’t care about him being my mate. It matters not. Fuck. I sound like a medieval movie. It matters not. But it’s true. It doesn’t matter.
“Hey… are you okay?” a familiar voice asks me. I look up and see Beta Rhiannon standing at the foot of my bed.
“Beta Rhiannon, hi,” I greet.
“Call me Rhiannon. I’m family,” she says with a soft smile. I don’t respond because I don’t agree with her. I might be ‘family’ because her brother marked me, but I won’t be family because I’m not staying.
“How are you feeling?” she asks.
“Honestly? I’m exhausted,” I reply. And sad. I’m sad. Rhiannon nods.
“I just want to sleep,” I tell her.
“I was there, when you collapsed, you know. Dawn said you needed your mate, or you’d die. It was my choice, my decision to get my brother,” she tells me.
“He needs you,” she adds. I nod. I don’t believe her, not that I’ll voice it. It doesn’t matter in the end. I’m leaving.
“When he realised what you were to him, he was devastated. You should have seen the look on his face.”
I think she’s just talking because I’m not saying anything and she’s just filling up the gaps.
“When Justin, one of the male nurses tried to help clean you, he got all possessive and angry, apparently.”
“Was he, Justin I mean, one of the nurses that cleaned me up and changed my clothes?” I ask. Rhiannon shakes her head.
“No. Mum and Lisa did. Lisa’s a nurse and mum works at the hospital as well. She’s a physiotherapist,” Rhiannon explains. I think about that. Two weeks ago, Tatum came by with Mabel and took me shopping. I thought she looked after Mabel, not worked.
“Oh,” is all I can say to that.
“Are you hungry? The food should be coming soon,” Rhiannon smiles.
Rhiannon stays with me while I eat lunch, and Lisa pops in and checks my vitals. Afterwards, some nurses and orderlies come in and clean up the mess on the wall. I’m grateful because it smells awful. It may have been a protein shake, but there was something else in it that didn’t smell right.
When Rhiannon’s stomach began to growl, I made her leave to eat, and she said she’d come back later. I took that opportunity to get some sleep.
Dinnertime came and went, and I spent the evening watching television before eventually falling asleep. Alaric didn’t come back into the room, although I knew he never strayed far- I could smell him waiting outside in the hallway. And I know when I slept, he came in and sat by my bed and held my hand. His touch sent me warm comforting signals through my body. Which I hated.
The next day I woke up with the familiar comfort I got from Alaric being close by. And yup, he was holding my hand again as his head rested on my bed. He was asleep, sitting on a chair while bent towards my bed. It didn’t look comfortable. There’s a spare bed in here, and I don’t know why he chose to sit next to me rather than sleep on it. I try to tug my hand out of his, but he holds on tight. I leave it there and look around the room, looking for something, anything to keep my mind occupied, when a smiling nurse walks in with a tray of food.
“Good morning! Breakfast!” the happy nurse greets. Alaric wakes up at her voice and lets go of my hand, which I thank the goddess for. I watch him as he rubs his eyes. He looks cute. But then, I’m not staying long so I shouldn’t care.
“How are you this morning?” the happy nurse asks.
“Okay, thanks,” I reply.
“I’ll get your doctor to check on you, but your vitals have been stable so it looks like you might be going home soon, if that’s what you want,” she smiles. Alaric tries to say something, but I ignore him.
“I’d like him to leave,” I tell the nurse as I point to Alaric. The nurse looks at Alaric sadly.
“Maybe that’s a good idea, Alaric, but remember what the doctor said,” the nurse says.
“Yeah,” he replies, getting up from his seat and leaving the room. I let go of the breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding.
“Thank you,” I say to the nurse. Now I can eat in peace.
“You’re welcome,” the nurse says. She fusses with my vitals, takes my blood pressure and types something on the computer before leaving.
I eat my breakfast and prepare myself for another session of binge-watching TV.
Drew, Logan, Rob and the rest of my team come and visit me after breakfast, and I can’t believe how happy they make me feel. Drew asks when I’m leaving the hospital, and Ben jokes that I enjoy being waited on too much to want to leave. Drew tells me that my hours and shifts will be reduced until I’m one hundred percent better, and I thank him for thinking of me.
I must have fallen asleep again because I feel gluggy when I wake up the next time with my Doctor and Alaric talking in my room.
“Ah. Evie. You’re awake,” the doctor grins.
“Hmm,” I nod.
“I was just talking to your mate here about you leaving the hospital,” the doctor continues.
“Really? I can leave soon?” I ask happily. The sooner I’m better, the sooner I can truly leave.
“Yes. Alaric has a nice home in the forest. It’ll be a good place for you to rest up.”
“Oh,” I reply, looking over at Alaric.
“I’m not going back to his house,” I think out loud. Please don’t make me.
“Your healing will be quicker if you’re near each other,” the doctor tells me.
“But I’d still heal if I wasn’t, right?”
“Well…yes…”
“Evie, please… come home with me. I’ll look after you,” Alaric says. I shake my head.
“I don’t have to go with him, do I?” I ask the doctor. His mouth straightens in response.
“It would be better for you if your mate was nearby.”
“Yeah, but I’ll still heal,” I respond.
“It will take longer,” the doctor muses.
“So?” I ask. I watch as the doctor looks at Alaric, their eyes making a silent conversation together. They’re linking.
“Okay. But Alaric will remain nearby, and you’ll have a week off. Will you let Alaric take you back to your home?” the doctor asks. I shake my head.
“No. Could you call Isabella for me? Or Dawn?” I ask. The doctor nods and looks at Alaric before leaving the room.
“I’ll be outside,” Alaric says sadly. But I don’t care. He chose Dharia, and he can have her.
Isabella comes to pick me up two hours later, coming in with the doctor who has my paperwork.
“Are you sure you want to go back to your apartment?” Isabella asks after she says hello.
“Yes. I’m certain,” I nod.
“Okay. Well, here are some clothes, and we’ll get going then, okay?” she asks, handing me a bag of clothes. They smell like her.
“Are these yours?” I ask as I climb out of bed.
“Yeah,” she smiles.
Isabella waits for me to change and then we walk out of the hospital together. Thankfully, Alaric isn’t around, although I can smell him nearby. His scent feels stronger and more intimate, and I hate how enticing it is.
“You sure you don’t want me to come up with you?” Isabella asks when we get to the pack house.
“No, I’m good,” I smile. Isabella nods, and I lean over and hug her.
“Thank you,” I say. And I mean it. Thank you for driving me home, giving me CPR and visiting me at the hospital. We had a pleasant conversation on the way home, and the more we talked the more I felt our friendship build.
“You’re welcome. And remember, I expect to see you at lunch tomorrow,” Isabella adds. I nod.
“Okay,” I agree. I get out of her car and wave goodbye. I watch her leave before heading for my suite.
I make the expected nods and hellos when pack members greet me, spurring me to walk faster to my suite. They sure are a different bunch from what I expected this pack to be. But I’ve been around lots of friendly people, and I promised myself I’d leave once I’d been interviewed by the council anyway. This almost dying and being marked is merely a blip in my life.
I take a deep breath in, sliding down my bedroom door once I’m inside the safety of my apartment. Just that walk to my room is enough to exhaust me, but at least I’m around familiar surroundings. I crawl under the covers of my bed and switch the television on.
//\\///\\\//\\
I don’t want to get up and go to the food court for breakfast. But the food in my fridge has all expired and I spent the morning throwing everything in the bin and then taking my rubbish to the garbage shoot in the hallway.
So, this is where I stand, thirty minutes later, scanning the food court. It’s after nine so it’s not as busy as the morning rush, but there are still people milling around. I smile when I see Erin working behind the counter at Mecca. Even though she can be a nasty cow, I know she has my back. She was the one who noticed me walking to the bathroom at Howling Moon and followed me. She was the one who broke the cubicle door open when she heard me vomit and collapse. If it wasn’t for Erin, I’d be dead.
I walk over to Mecca, and Erin grins when she notices me.
“You’re back!” Erin greets. I nod.
“I need food. All mine went off,” I admit.
“Sandra! I’m taking fifteen after I serve this customer!” Erin calls out across her store. Sandra turns and when she sees me, nods.
“Welcome home. We were all praying for you,” Sandra smiles.
“Thank you,” I reply. I order a quiche Lorraine and a coffee and Erin joins me at a table for breakfast.
“How are you feeling?” Erin asks. I shrug.
“Okay, I guess,” I admit.
“How long have you got off?”
“A week, officially. Drew mentioned he’d schedule me for lighter duties when I return to work,” I add.
“And mentally? How are you taking it all?” Erin asks. I contemplate my answer. Erin can be a, I want to say bitch, but we’re wolves, so yeah, but I’ve not noticed her to be one to gossip.
“I’m in shock, I think. I don’t want Alaric, and I hate that he claimed me,” I admit honestly. Erin’s expression drops.
“He lost his mate during the war. He was devastated. I think he’s lucky to have found you,” is Erin’s reply.
“You would have died. I don’t want that,” Erin then admits. I look at her, happy but surprised.
“Hey, not just a pretty face,” she says, pointing to herself. I can’t help it, but I begin laughing.
“I know I can be selfish… mean… but I like you. I’m loyal and I’d fight for you. It’s why Isabella and I are friends. She puts up with me and I care about her,” Erin says more seriously.
“Honestly… I don’t know why she puts up with you,” I blurt out. I feel awful saying it out loud, but it’s the truth. Erin nods.
“I know. Bella was picked on during primary school. She was smaller than all of us, and it’s not a normal trait, you know? One day I saw some girls hassling Bellie for her lunch, and I couldn’t watch any more. So, I stepped in. We’ve been friends ever since. I may be a bitch to her, but I’d never hurt her,” Erin explains. I just nod. It’s a strange relationship, but I’m not Isabella. As for me…
“Thank you for looking after me that night. I hated the fact at first. I… would have rather died” I admit.
“I don’t. I want you around. You’ve grown on me,” Erin smiles.
“Well, thanks,” I smile. Erin reaches for my hand and squeezes.
“Every time,” she tells me.
We start talking about my ‘holiday’ as she puts it, and what I’m going to do during the week. I don’t tell her I plan on leaving, so I shrug my shoulders instead. Erin tells me about the walking tracks and the things I can do in Little Vallis. There’s a bus that goes from town to there, which I learned she and Isabella took a lot before they learnt to drive. I just nod. Then Erin needs to go back to work, and I sit there thinking about my next move.
I’m tired of sitting in a bed and watching TV. The thought of playing the violin runs in my head and before I know it, I’m walking towards the Music room.
My growling stomach is what pulls me out of my music trance. I walk to Silver House Goods and peruse the shelves before buying staples like bread, eggs, and bacon. I have an oven in my apartment now, so I even buy some pastry to make a tomato quiche. I wonder if Silver Forest has an Asian grocer. Or if Little Vallis does? I have a craving for Vietnamese pork summer rolls. Hmm. I know how to make them from scratch and my stomach is practically growling at the thought.
“Hey Dawn,” I smile when I walk up to the counter.
“Evie! Welcome back!” Dawn smiles, practically jumping over the counter to get me into a hug. I laugh and hug her back, her warm body feeling comfortable.
“How have you been? I’ve missed you!”
I laugh at this. Dawn, along with Erin and Isabella, visited me every day when I was in the hospital. Even Chloe and Lana visited.
“I’m okay. Tired, hungry. I want real food,” I admit, pointing to my purchases.
“Ooh, you cooking?”
“Yeah. I miss real food,” I admit.
“I get it. See, I made myself a sandwich,” Dawn agrees.
We talk for a bit more until Marcie yells out for help with a customer and I get to leave. I’m going to miss the friends I’ve made here.
I make myself a homemade quiche Lorraine for lunch, singing ‘Forgot You’ by Bella Ferraro as I go. My favourite line is ‘I’ll be the best girl that you never have, and I’m better off now that I forgot you,’ and I belt these words out louder than the others.
//\\///\\\//\\
I’m slowly feeling better. Almost dying takes its toll, haha. It’s been four days since I’ve left the hospital. I have a late breakfast with Erin and then spend the mornings playing the violin. In the afternoons I walk around the pack house grounds enjoying the sun before spending my late afternoons with Isabella in the pack’s daycare centre. I make myself dinner and have leftovers for lunch. And every night, I fall asleep with the comforting smell of Alaric seeping through the gaps in my doorframe.
It got so bad last night that I woke up and peeked outside my door to see if he was really there or not. He was- asleep and leaning against the wall on the ground. I locked my door and went to the cupboard to get him a blanket and pillow, which made me stop in my tracks. I’m beginning to care about him.
Which is why I woke up with a determination on my mind this morning. I’ve been waiting too long; I need to leave. I can’t care about him, especially when he still wants her.
“How are you feeling?” Erin asks when we sit down for breakfast.
“Better,” I admit, “I’m getting better at the violin and the pups love it when I play music with them,” I tell her. And this is all true. I’m getting a lot of practice with the violin in, and I’m thoroughly enjoying getting the pups to make music with me with their toys. I think about sitting with Jaspen and Fatat and their sandbox toys and pretending to use them as drums. They’ve started copying the rhythms I’m making, and Isabella even brought out the untuned percussion instruments for us and we’ve had loud jamming sessions making noise with the musical instruments. I smile as I remember more pups coming over wanting to join in. Natalie, Isabella’s supervisor, said that I have a knack for teaching music, to which I smiled and agreed because I know.
“That’s good. You’re looking better,” Erin says. I nod. Erin seems to like these morning check-ins, and I feel a little bad that it’ll stop soon. I couldn’t sleep much last night after stopping at the linen cupboard looking for stuff for Alaric. I need a bag that will fit at least two changes of clothes, shoes and bits and pieces to help me survive in the woods. My first stop is Massey, to retrieve my bag from the tree, and from there, I want to bus North. That’s my plan.
“Thanks. I’m happy. I think, despite everything,” I add. Erin nods and then tells me about some gossip she heard about the people working at the sandwich store.
“You should have lunch with us again,” Erin says as we’re about to leave.
“I get carried away when I play and lose all sense of time,” I admit. Which is true. Yesterday I had lunch at two because I wanted to play the piano first.
“Okay. Well, next week, we’re taking you back to Howling Moon, whether you’re ready or not,” Erin tells me.
“Too bad, we’ve already decided,” she says, kissing my cheek goodbye.
“Goodbye,” I say. I watch her leave. This is probably the last time Erin will see me before I go. She doesn’t know that I don’t plan on being here next week.
I head for Dawn’s work and wave to her when I enter the store. I wander the aisles and find myself an Entrada backpack. It doesn’t look like a hiking backpack, which I like, and from the photos, I can carry it on my back and off my shoulder as well. The straps are large when adjusted all the way, and I can wear it when I shift into my wolf. I grab a pocketknife as well as some thin rope for making traps, a pack of three lighters and a camping water purifier. A pot is my final choice and I head for the front counter.
“Hey! Are you thinking about camping?” Dawn asks when I place my things on the counter.
“Yeah. I love camping,” I admit.
“Cool.”
I don’t tell her I’m getting these things because I’m leaving, so I ask if she wants to come with me.
“Goddess no. I’m not a sleep-under-the-stars kind of girl. I’d rather have a roof over my head, if you know what I mean,” Dawn says.
“Not even a tent?” I tease.
“No! I need walls with insulation, thank you,” she replies.
“Daddy’s little princess?”
“Yup. Daddy loves me,” Dawn grins. I laugh.
“When do you think about going?” Dawn asks. Now. I’m leaving now. As soon as I’m packed.
“Maybe the weekend. Or next. Haven’t decided,” I lie. I feel slightly bad for lying, but I’m sure they’ll understand eventually. I pay for my things and watch as Dawn tries bagging it all up.
“You should ask Isabella to come. I think she’ll enjoy it,” Dawn says.
“You think so?” I ask. Dawn nods.
“I’ll think about it. See ya Dawny,” I say.
“Yeah, see ya,” Dawn smiles. I give her a sad look. Goodbye, my friend. I turn and begin to head out the door when Dawn calls me back.
“Evie! I have something for you!” Dawn cries out. In her hand is an envelope, and seeing it makes me smile.
“When did this come?” I grin, flipping it over to see the return address.
“Yesterday. Sorry. Marcie was on. Hey, do you want to go out to dinner next week?” Dawn asks,
“Sure,” I reply, smiling at the envelope. Jia’s written back to me. I’ve missed her.
“Bye Dawn!” I call out again.
“Bye!” I hear Dawn call out, but I’m so excited about reading the letter that I hardly notice.
I walk into my room, kicking the door behind me and dump my bags onto my bed. I’ll get to them later. I marvel at the letter. I love getting mail this way from Jia. She’s old school, having grown up without the internet and instantaneous contact with others. It was Jia who suggested we write to each other after I had left Sienna the last time. And I look forward to receiving one of her letters every time.
I rip open the envelope, eager to read the contents inside. I haven’t heard from Jia in months, and I miss her.
The first thing that strikes me is that the writing is not Jia’s beautifully intricate cursive script. It doesn’t even start the way Jia writes. And what I read inside makes my world stop.
I’m sitting on my bed, stunned, the letter hanging off my fingers. I hear a knock on my door, and I numbly walk over to it, knowing without having to use my senses who it is.
He wraps his arms around me, his warm scent engulfing me with comfort. I don’t respond, stiff in his arms, but I let him walk me backwards into the room so he can close the door behind us.
“I’m here babe,” he soothes. I don’t respond. I don’t even cry. Yet my heart is breaking.
“What’s wrong, talk to me,” he says. But I can’t. I can’t What type of heartless person am I that I cry at the drop of a hat about myself but this, I’m like a stone at?
I make an unattractive grunting noise when Alaric reaches down and picks me up bridal style and sits on my bed, me on his lap.
“What’s this? Going somewhere?” he asks as he adjusts me on his lap, his right arm holding me into him tightly.
“Camping,” I reply meekly.
“And what’s this?” he says, tugging at the letter in my hand.
“She’s dead,” I say as I let him take the letter. Alaric doesn’t respond.
“I, I need to call but I don’t have a phone. I have to be there but it’ll take months. How can I get there? What can I do? What can I do?” I begin to ramble.
“Shh, shh, baby. I’m here. Let me work it out. Shh,” he soothes. I lean my head into his chest, letting his warmth take over my stone-cold heart.
