Chapter 23
The next day flew by in a blur. I had been given the rundown of my expectations from Aunty, and so I showered, dressed in my black long-sleeved shift dress and applied very little make-up. I brushed my hair, let it fall into its natural waves, and finished off the look with my black ballet flats. As family, which I know I’m not biologically, I had to look demure. I was also asked to present a speech. A speech! I loved Jia, and although I was nervous… if it wasn’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be today, so, of course, I said yes.
Alaric walked out of the bathroom, looking sexy as fuck; I had to mask my scent because, goddess, he looked tasty. He wore black suit pants with a white dress shirt, the top few buttons undone, revealing his sexy chest and hints of tattoo underneath.
“I’m ready. You?” Alaric asks. I nod but don’t reply. I’ve been really quiet since I found out about Jia’s passing. I don’t know if this is a normal way to handle grief, but it’s the way I’ve been acting. I haven’t cried, which feels strange because I’ve cried a lot over Alaric, yet I can’t seem to shed a tear for Jia. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not normal.
Alaric offers me his hand as we exit our room, but I ignore it. I slept in my wolf again last night. I could smell Alaric all night next to me as he lay in bed, and I think it helps me feel better. He’s been so good to me, and I feel awful for how I’ve been treating him, but I can’t get over how he treated me.
Not only is Jia’s death getting to me, knowing that I’ll never be able to hug her again, but his words still haunt me. Don’t ask me to choose. She’s part of my life, so just deal. I don’t actually remember if those are his words, but that’s the general gist of the words. She’s part of my life, and I’m not going to choose between you and her. I wonder if he still feels that way. Because I’m out if he does. I don’t care if he’s been good to me so far. I’m out.
We drove to the next town, where the Buddhist funeral home is. Coral Lakes has a larger Vietnamese community than Sierra, and we left after one for a two o’clock ceremony.
When we got there, the place was already busy, but Alaric managed to find a parking spot near the entrance. Again, he offered me his hand when we got out of the car, and this time, I took it.
“You’re here,” Hana smiles, giving me and Alaric a hug as soon as she sees us walk through the doors.
“The family is sitting at the back,” Hana says, directing us to the back of the hall. I nod and scan the room, heading for a seat in the back. An Aunty walked up to us and hugs us before handing us a white headband.
“To wear around head,” she instructs, pointing to her own headband. I nod and quietly put it on, tying the end in a knot at the back. I look at Alaric and smirk.
“What?”
“You look silly,” I link him.
“So do you,” he winks back. I disagree, so I shake my head in response.
“Hana said you were here. Have you prayed yet?” Chen asks, walking up to us. We shake our heads. I guess I’m too stunned to take it all in. When we walked in, there was a shrine at the front with a photo of Jia and lots of flowers and wreaths, but when Hana directed me to the back, I just followed. Chen nods in understanding.
“Come on, I’ll show you what to do,” she says.
Alaric and I follow Chen to the shrine, where a pedestal with a pot of sand sits, incense sticking out of it and burning sandalwood. A woman I hadn’t noticed handed Chen, Alaric, and me an incense stick, which she lit for us.
“Just watch me,” Chen says. I watch as Chen steps in front of the, I want to say urn because bowl doesn’t sound right, but it is a bowl, and she palms her hands in the prayer symbol, with her stick held between her palms. She closes her eyes, holding the pose for a while, before opening her eyes and placing the stick in the bowl.
“Youngest to oldest,” Chen says, stepping aside for my turn. I nod, take my place in front of the bowl, and then close my eyes. I don’t know if when you’re praying like that, that they hear you speaking to them… but I believe they do. I thank Jia in my head for all the things she did for me, and I tell her about one of the happiest memories I had with her… the day we went to Coral Falls Vietnamese Newspaper Christmas party and how I won a very large bottle of wine from the money tree. I tell her how we got together for New Year’s Eve and drank that very bottle, just her, Chen, Hana and I, and how drunk we (they) got and how much fun we had making lanterns to float in the sky with our New Year messages. And I told her the New Year’s message I had written on my paper lantern, ‘health and happiness,’ because that’s all I wanted for her and her family. And lastly, I apologise to her for not knowing how sick she was and how I wasn’t there for her before she died.
When I’m done, I place my stick in the sand and step aside for Alaric to have his turn.
Jia’s casket is behind the shrine, and people walk to it before taking their seats. I’m hesitant to go because I don’t want to go alone.
“You want to go see her?” Alaric asks softly after he’s done. I nod and grab his hand for support. Thank goddess, he’s here with me.
We walk over to her casket, which is half open with a glass screen between us and her body. Because it’s only her body lying there now, the shell that once held her soul. Looking at her body, I know that she’s not there. She’s gone. I lean my head into Alaric’s arm, taking all the comfort I can get. Jia lies in peace, her dark eyelashes resting on her cheeks. She looks asleep.
Alaric doesn’t say anything, and he lets me view Jia in silence, for which I’m grateful. After a little while, I’m done, so I head back to our seats.
The next part of the ceremony is a blur. People speak about Jia, including Alpha Riley, who talks about how welcoming she was to him and his family. I nod at that because it’s true. Jia was welcoming. Always.
An Aunty nods to me when it’s my turn to speak, and I get up, taking my violin bag with me.
When I woke up this morning in Alaric’s arms, I dressed and asked the first werewolf I saw if they had a music room. They did. I then linked Beta Jules and asked if I could borrow a violin, which he said I could. Alaric was just waking up when I returned and began tuning the instrument.
Alaric grabs my arm and hands me his phone and a cable, and I give him a grateful smile.
When I get to the front of the hall, I give the tech guy Alaric’s phone and ask him to play the first song when I ask. He nods and begins to get it ready for me.
“Uh, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Evie,” I begin, speaking into the mike.
“The first time I met Jia, she gave me one look and started feeding me. She took me in, gave me a job, and made me feel wanted even when I thought I didn’t deserve it. If she had a spare room in her house, she would have offered it to me because that’s the type of person Jia was. Jia opened her family, her community and her heart to me. She would call me ‘her daughter from another mother,’ even though I’m white, blonde and tall. I don’t know what her real family thought of me, but after a while, they also took me in as their own because of Jia. Jia knew people. She knew who to trust, and thank goodness she trusted me. Because I don’t know where I’d be now without her,” I pause and take a deep breath. I scan the room and find Alaric looking at me. I hold his gaze, taking comfort that he’s here for me.
“One thing I remember mostly about Jia, besides her big heart, was her love of Ed Sheeran,” I say. I hear a chorus of acknowledgements at that.
“In the tea house, there were days when we girls, Chen, Hala and me, would hide the radio so we could have Ed Sheeran-free days. But then she would destroy it by singing his songs,” I smile, “that woman could not sing. And then she would get huffy at us and say if we could do better than to prove it and, if not, to let her be. I promised her I would one day,” I pause, looking across the room at the sad faces till my eyes fell back on Alaric’s.
“Unfortunately, I never got my chance. So Jia, if you can hear me, this is for you,” I say, looking at the sky. I bend down, open the bag I brought with me, and pull out the violin. I know nobody in the room has heard me play, even Alaric, and my search lands back on him. He nods for me to start, and I tell the tech guy he can play the song.
“Excuse me, I’m a little out of practice,” I say. The background music starts when I place the violin under my chin and begin to play ‘Shape of You’. It’s an easy piece to play, and when I finish, I notice a hush from the crowd.
“I think she would have liked that,” Amanda, one of Jia’s daughters, says, breaking the quiet. I look over her and smile as she walks over to me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug.
“Thank you, Evie,” Amanda says. I nod and pick up my bag. I walk over to Alaric, who is waiting for me in front of the chairs. He opens his arms for me, and I melt into him, tears finally falling down my face.
//\\///\\\//\\
The rest of the funeral is a blur of people coming in and giving their condolences. I watch as they light their incense and pray before taking a seat. Time goes by quickly; before we know it, we’re outside in the car park, being instructed to follow the hearse to the cemetery.
Thank goddess for Alaric, who takes everything in his stride. The cemetery is back in Sierra, and we follow, six cars long in a convoy there.
The funeral people are already there, lowering Jia’s casket into her grave, Amanda and Ellen, her daughters, crying into their husband’s arms. Chen and Hana stand beside me as Alaric wraps his arms around my waist from behind. I love that he does that for me.
Jia’s family throw their headbands onto the casket, and the funeral guys make the sign of the cross. I take my headband off and throw it in, and Alaric follows.
We return to Jia’s place for dinner and sit socialising with the family. I feel wholly humbled to have been included in this intimate family moment.
We don’t return to the pack house until it’s very late, and I feel exhausted from the day’s events.
I leave the bathroom wearing a sleep t-shirt and shorts and head towards the bed, where Alaric sits, his phone in his hand.
“Alaric?” I ask. He looks up from his phone.
“Can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
He nods and lifts the covers for me to get in. I quickly climb into the bed and cover myself with the blankets. Alaric turns the light off, and the room goes dark. I look at the wall as I contemplate my next move. I’m grateful for the support Alaric’s given me these few days. And I don’t know, but man, the bond between us seems to be growing because I have the urge to roll over and cuddle him, breathe in his scent. It’s like this is a turning point for me. He chose to support me in this, and I’m so glad he did. I bite my lip, letting little tears fall from my eyes when I think about Jia and how I’ll never hear her voice again. It feels so unreal.
“Alaric?” I ask, partly to get his answer and partly to see if he’s still awake, like me.
“Yeah?” with this reply, I roll over to my left side to face him. I’m pleased to see that he’s facing me, too.
“Thank you for today,” I tell him.
“Of course. Anything for you,” he softly replies.
“Alaric?” I ask again.
“Yeah?”
“Can you hold me?”
“Come here,” he says, pulling me closer to him. I take a deep breath of his scent, his warm body comforting me. It feels right to be here in his arms. And he smells so, so good.
I feel myself drift off when tingles sweep from my temple toward and around my ears. Alaric. I open my eyes, his brown-blues staring back at me.
“Alaric,” I whisper.
“Evie,” he replies, leaning forward and pressing his soft lips into my own. His kiss… I could get lost in it. I breathe in his breaths, making me melt into him more. Alaric’s tongue tests my lips, and I open my mouth to let him in. He kisses me slowly, his tongue gently touching mine before withdrawing and coming back. I palm his chest, my hands exploring the ripples of his abdomen and the firmness of his biceps as my core begins to heat up. I want this with him, but not all the way, not yet. We pull away after some heavy touching, and I sigh in pleasure. That was… amazing.
I don’t need to do anything as he pulls me closer, my head resting below his jaw. This man is mine. For now, anyway. I fall asleep with that thought, this man is mine.
//\\///\\\//\\
We spent another three days in Sierra before getting a plane to Little Vallis. Alaric and I spent time with Jia’s family as well as participating in training with Gibbous Pack’s Deltas.
I smile as I remember training the Deltas to use the staff. I overheard Alaric speak with their Commanding Delta, who told him I should be teaching staff use with our pack. I think I’d like that. Out of all the Delta’s I sparred with, I won all but one fight… to their best staff fighter.
I slept in the car on the way back to the pack from Little Vallis Airport. There’s something about travel and cars that makes me sleepy. I’ve always slept in car rides. Bus rides, no, but car rides, especially long ones, make me sleepy.
Alaric walks me back to my suite, and I can’t wait to be in my own space again, sleeping in my own bed. Sigh.
“I’m going to unpack,” Alaric says, pulling me into a hug and kissing the top of my head. That’s another thing that’s gone well since going to Sierra- my relationship with Alaric. Since the night of Jia’s funeral, we’ve spent every night sleeping in each other’s arms and kissing. Lots of kissing. We’ve become closer, and I’ve loved every moment of it.
“Are you going to come back?” I ask. Because I want him too.
“Do you want me to come back?” he asks. I nod, which makes him smile.
“Okay, I will.”
“And, uh, can you stay the night?” I ask. I don’t want to stay the night at his place for obvious reasons, but I do want him to stay the night at mine.
“I’ll bring some clothes with me,” he says. I nod and watch him walk down the hallway. I smile as I close the door behind me. I think I’m beginning to like this whole mate thing.
//\\///\\\//\\
Alaric whispers in my ear to meet him in the food court at eight for breakfast before kissing my temple and leaving me in bed on our first day back in Silva Luporum. I nod in agreement and cuddle into his pillow, breathing in his scent. I dozed for another forty minutes when Alaric mind linked me and told me again to meet him in the food court.
Smiling, I press his pillow closer to my chest before forcing myself out of bed to start the day. I like the fact that Alaric wants to meet for breakfast with me again, and I hope this becomes more than a one-time thing. I like the fact that he linked me to make sure I’d meet him there.
I don’t have to return to work till next week, which is four days away, five if I’m including today. Which means I have four days to myself. I like that. I like having days unplanned with the knowledge I have work coming up. It’s like being a kid on school holidays all over again.
I shower and dress, plaiting my wet hair into a simple braid before heading to the food court.
The place is opening up, with workers still prepping their stations when I arrive, so I scan the room and find a seat near the window. I don’t have a phone or a watch, so I don’t know the time, and I didn’t check before I left my place, which is stupid of me. It makes me anxious, hoping I haven’t missed him and come too late. I think I’ll wait for what feels like ten minutes and then ask a worker at one of the stores for the time.
“Is everything alright?” Alaric asks, interrupting my thoughts. I startle in surprise.
“Yes. Of course. Why?”
“You were sending anxious feelings out,” Alaric says, taking my hand in his to comfort me.
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t know the time and was worried that I missed you,” I admit. Alaric smiles at that, but I blush, embarrassed.
“Hungry?” he asks.
“Yes,” I nod, grateful for the change of topic. We get food, with Alaric topping my tray with more food than I can eat, and sit back at the table I’d chosen earlier.
Even though we’ve spent five days together, I feel a little awkward when it comes to conversation. I ask him about morning training, which he says is great, and then ask him his plans for the day. See, all work. I need a hobby. Oh! I do have one. I’ll have to do that.
“So on Sunday…” Alaric begins, looking at me.
“Yeah…”
“Well, on Sundays, my family has family dinners at each other’s houses. We rotate every week… I was wondering if you would come with me this week?” he asks. I smile, pleased he’s asking me to join him for a family dinner.
“So you want me to come to your family dinner?” I ask.
“Yes… if you want to, I’d love you to come…” Alaric stutters.
“That’s a big step, don’t you think?” I tease.
“Well, I was hoping, you know, I know you won’t… fuck,” he growls, making me smile.
“I would love to come with you. Do I need to bring anything?” I ask. Alaric grins and shakes his head.
“No. Just yourself. I’ll pick you up at four,” he says. I nod. I get to meet his family. Does this mean he’s choosing me? I feel glee at that thought.
“Meet me back here for lunch, okay?” Alaric says, getting up from his seat. I watch him hopefully. He wants to have lunch with me as well? I think I’m giddy with happiness right now. Alaric kisses my forehead and takes his tray to the disposal stand, giving me a wink before leaving. Yup, I think I’m happy.
I’m still buzzing as I walk to the music room. I plan on spending my morning here before heading to the Pack Library for the first time and making an account to burrow more books. I want to learn more about the history of this pack and, of course, more about my mate and his family.
I pick up the violin first. That’s another thing I will need if I stay here, a proper violin. I mean, a better one. I play my usual favourites. When I stop after ‘Carol of the Bells, ’ I hear clapping. Turning, I see a mother with a young girl standing at her feet and a baby in her arms. Both mother and daughter are clapping while the baby watches me.
“Can you show me how to play that?” the little girl asks, running over to me.
“Oh, Lindsey, I’m sure she’s too busy… I’m sorry to disturb you, but this little minx ran off and then she must of heard you play because she came straight here,” the mother apologises.
“That’s okay,” I smile.
“Do you really want to play?” I ask the little girl, who nods her head enthusiastically.
“Hmm,” I muse, scanning the room. I put down my violin and grab a smaller one. It’s one-quarter size, made for a five- to seven-year-old, so it’s a little too big for her, but it’s the smallest one here.
“Try this. It’s a little big, but give it a try,” I say, handing it to Lyndsey. The little girl attempts to put it under her chin, and I help her. I then give her the bow and show her how to use it.
Lyndsey drags the bow across the strings, making an awful sound and her face sours.
“The violin is the hardest instrument to play. It takes years to be good at it,” I tell her.
“Did it take you years?”
“Well, I was handling a violin when I was younger than you, and I’m still learning pieces, so… yeah…” I admit. I’m not going to tell her I was performing for the werewolf Queen since I was six, which I assume is a couple years older than she is now. Lyndsey looks upset, and I feel sad for her.
“Would you like me to teach you how to play a different instrument?” I ask. Lyndsey’s face picks up, and she grins, looking excitedly at her mum.
“Mum, can I?” she asks.
“Oh, I’m sure the nice lady is too busy, and I have to take you and Damion to daycare, Lynds…”
Lyndsey stomps her feet and stares at the floor, which makes me giggle.
“You know, I’m friends with Isabella… I could come by after lunch and maybe teach you and your friends something if Isabella says it’s okay…” I suggest.
“Can you? Really?” Lynsey asks excitedly. She jumps on me, wrapping her little arms around my neck and almost bowling me over when I nod.
“Lyndsey!” her mum scolds.
“I am so sorry!” the woman apologises.
“That’s okay, really,” I say.
“I’m Tammy, by the way,” the woman says.
“Evie. Hi,” I reply.
“Well, Evie, if you have time to teach the little pups, I think you’d make some parents happy. We haven’t had a music school in the pack for years,” Tammy tells me.
“Oh, that’s sad,” I muse, looking over at the unused instruments. Tammy nods.
“I’ll talk to Isabella or her boss,” I say.
“Thanks. Let’s go, Lyndsey. Say goodbye to the nice lady.”
“Bye, Evie,” Lyndsey says, waving her cute little hand at me.
I sit on the piano stool, thinking. I know how to teach music, obviously. And not because I’m classically trained in music. Watching Mum teach others how to play and sometimes helping her students has taught me how to break each step into their parts. I could teach others to play music. Plus, it would make me feel closer to Mum if I did.
I keep these thoughts to myself and meet my friends in the food court for lunch. Alaric and his friend Leyton join us. I don’t see Dharia, but I don’t bring her up either.
After lunch, I walk with Isabella to the daycare centre, telling her about my encounter with Lyndsey and her mother.
“Tamara’s mother is actually my boss, so if she wants Lyndsey to have music lessons, I’m sure she’s already mentioned it to her mum,” Isabella assures me. I nod as I follow her through the doors of the daycare centre. We pass the front office, and Isabella takes me to a woman sitting at a desk, doing work.
“Julie, my friend Evie is here. She wants to ask you something,” Isabella says after knocking on the door. Julie, who I assume is Lyndsey’s grandmother, turns around with a smile.
“Evie! Yes, Tamara told me all about you! Come in, come in,” she says, shooing Isabella aside.
“I’ll see you later,” Isabella tells me. I nod, and Isabella waves goodbye, leaving me with her boss.
“So you’re interested in teaching music to our young pups?” Julie asks.
“Well… I play, and Lyndsey wanted me to teach her. I know the basics, so…” I admit, not knowing what to say. I know the basics? Hell, I can play the violin better than most in my age group.
“Well, maybe we could trial you…” Julie muses. I nod.
“Let me show you our music storeroom,” she says, getting up.
“Sure,” I reply.
Twenty minutes later, I’m standing in front of a room of four-year-olds with a box of untuned percussion instruments in my arms. Let’s see how this goes…
