Chapter 182
Xander’s POV:
“That must have hurt.” Sabrina said, her tone biting and sharp “And not to invalidate your hurt or anything, but seeing you treat me like I was the most irrelevant thing ever, like I meant nothing, like I was disposable that hurt.”
I waited for her to finish. The hurt in her voice cut through my heart like a knife. She steeled herself, despite the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, she didn’t shed a single drop.
“I hated myself because of that. I hated myself for how I reached out to you, despite how horribly you treated me. And when I was in that wretched place, I still thought about you. And that only made me hate myself the most.
I felt disgusted with myself. Hearing her voice her pain, trying so hard to keep it all together. I wanted to close the space between us and hug her. But I instinctively knew that if I did that, she would kick me. And it wouldn’t be funny.
“I’m sorry.” I said, from the depths of my soul. “You are not irrelevant to me. Sabrina, you mean a lot to me. More than you could ever know, or I could ever put into words. You’re the most relevant person on this earth to me.”
Surprise flitted across her eyes. I laughed to myself.
“Everything Orion said was proof enough. And last night, if I had lost you, I would have never been able to continue living.”
“Why? You’re the king. You’ve likely got people to live for.”
“A king is easily replaced, Sabrina. You are not. I never got to reveal how I felt about you prior to last night. And worse, I never got to earnestly seek your forgiveness. I’m so fucking glad I didn’t lose you.”
She inhaled deeply. “This is all very surprising, your majesty.”
“If this is too much, we can continue this talk later. I know it’s a lot to take in, and I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”
“No, no, I’m fine.”
“Are you
sure?”
She nodded. “I just don’t know what to say right now.”
“You can ask me anything you want. Anything.”
From the glint in her eyes, I knew she wouldn’t go easy. but I need this right now. She needs this.
“Did you go back to fucking Blair when I was gone?”
I knew she’d ask that.
“No.” I said. “I didn’t fuck her”
“You weren’t tempted?”
I paused. “Not tempted. At a point Nifra sent her to me, when I was… rotting away.”
“Oh.” She said. She folded her hands in her lap.
“She wasn’t you. I sent her away and nothing happened.”
“Why then did you lie about it to me?”
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Chapter 182
“Because I didn’t want to appeared pathetic to you. And also because I didn’t want you to know how much I had missed you. That was why”
She seemed to be struggling within herself. “I see.”
“Did you have sex with Caldan? Before he showed you who he really was?”
Her cheeks turned red. She pointedly looked away and puffed her cheek out. It was hard to tell if her blushing was from embarrassment or not.
Oh. So she did.
Jealously bloomed in my heart. Along with it was anger. Not at her, no no. But at Caldan. Everything he did was to mock me to my face. I bet he gloated about it too.
“You can ask any more questions you have.” I said, when it was cleared I wasn’t getting an answer from her.
I must not force her. She has to give me the answers on her own.
She turned back to me. “What is going to happen now?” She asked.
“For starters, I plan to make you mine. Wholly.”
She blinked, her arms folded defensively. I winced at that action. It must have struck a nerve. “I’m not and object, your majesty. I am tired of being treated like a pretty little possession.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, I want you to be mine .with your full consent.”
“What makes
you
think I want to be owned by you?”
I drew back, surprised. “I…I thought we shared the same thoughts? Aren’t our feelings mutual? And we only hid them because of well everything that stood in the way?”
She stared at me intensely. Her stunning blue eyes sharp and cunning. “What if I have gotten over your feelings? What if they don’t exist anymore?”
“After how you held me last night when you found out I was alive, I doubt you’ve gotten over your feelings for me.”
The moment I said those words, I realized how crappy that sounded. She was trying to talk to me and I just made it all about me. Again.
“Sabrina,”
She nodded to herself. “I see. Nothing has changed.” She got to her feet and turned to leave.
I raced after her, grabbed her wrist and pulled her into me. She struggled against my hold, and slowly she relaxed. I hugged her, as close as I could physically get.
For a few seconds, we stayed this way. I cherished the warmth of her body, her scent clinging to her hair and skin, soft and floral.
She was the first to pull back.
“does this mean you belong to me now?”
“No. First, we have to get to know each other. Start a fresh, from the beginning.”
“The beginning?”
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09.14 wed, by Mar
Chapter 182
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“Yes. Because if we’re being honest, we don’t know anything about each other. So we’ll have to take care of that first. And then, you can ask me to be yours, properly. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll agree.”
I laughed softly. A spark of pride bloomed in my heart. I like this new side of her. Sassy, confident, and daring. Come to think of it, she’s always been like this. Flaunting my orders. Being disobedient. Digging her heels into the ground and doing what she pleases.
I missed it so much. And I couldn’t believe I had survived this long without her grumblings and her talkative stubborn self.
I gently cupped her face and gazed into her eyes. “You’re one hell of a woman, Sabrina.” I said appreciatively.
She went red. “Thank you”
My eyes moved to her lips. A tremor ran through me, and I felt the violent desire to lean in and kiss her. Heavens, I’ve missed her. So fucking much.
Control. I must exercise control. Else it will all be in vain.
I looked up and met her eyes. My thumbs rubbed soft circles into her cheeks, feeling her soft skin under my palm. She didn’t pull away, instead she slightly inclined her head into my touch.
I will never let anything come close to harming her. Ever again. even if it costs my life, I will protect Sabrina. From this day
- on.
Even if she agrees to be mine or not.
“I don’t love Caldan.” She said after a few seconds of unbroken eye contact. “I never did. I hope that answers your questions about him.”
A bright smile appeared on my face. “I’m glad.” I said, meaning it. I’m so glad Caldan never got to her.
He never deserved her in the first place.
