Chapter 88
We watch them dance and twirl and laugh. Gabriel is in awe and doesn’t take his eyes off
them.
While all I can think about is the visceral reaction my body is having to his.
It’s like there’s this invisible electrical current running between us.
“How was your week?” he asks.
“It was okay.”
***
His eyes search mine. “Apologies for…” he shrugs, “…being…” “Yourself.” I finish his
sentence.
“I was going to say asshole, but yourself is the same thing, I guess.” I nod, unsure how to
reply.
“When you
told me you didn’t want me…” he hesitates, “…I don’t know what came over
me…it…it made me nasty.”
I don’t want to get into a forgiveness conversation, I want to stay mad at him.
Mad is safe, mad keeps him away…so I choose to stay silent instead.
We sit for a while and watch the kids; it seems so weird having him sitting here beside
me…watching his kids too.
Another couple sit beside him and he begins to chat with the dad, and I look over and the
drink table needs help. “I’m going to go and help them,” I whisper, trying not to interrupt
his conversation.
“Sure, babe.” His eyes flick to meet mine. He seems as surprised as I am by his comment
and some kind of moment passes between us.
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It feels…I don’t even know.
Fuck.
I rush to the drink table and begin pouring drinks, it’s busy and hectic but it gives me an excuse not to sit beside him. I’in going to stay here all night.
The night is coming to an end, and the DJ comes onto the microphone. “Can I have all the parents on the dance floor, please. If you don’t have a partner here, grab somebody.”
I stay standing by the drink table. Someone may be thirsty, after all.
Parents begin to pile onto the dance floor and I watch on with my arms folded.
“Vee,” his deep voice purrs from behind me. “This is us. We’re dancing.”
“I’m good.” I fake a smile. “Really.” He takes my hand and drags me onto the dance floor.
Willie Nelson’s “You Were Always on My Mind” begins to play.
Not this song…anything but this song.
› Gabriel pulls me into his arms and holds me tight.
He stares down at me as we begin to sway to the music.
I awkwardly look anywhere but at him.
He smiles softly. “It’s fitting.”
“What is?”
“That this song is playing.” He pulls me closer and an electrical current runs between us.
“It’s about us.”
“Stop it.”
You were always on my mind, Violet,” he whispers. “Never once were you far from my
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thoughts.”
We stare at each other, an ocean of regret swimming between us.
“I need you to forgive me.”
I stare up at him as we sway to the music.
“Tell me how to fix this?” he says softly. “Tell me and I’ll do it.”
“I wish I knew…”
His lips drop to my temple as he holds me tight, we sway to the music, both lost to our own
thoughts.
You were always on my
mind.
Oh, this song…so sad and so relevant.
My favorite singer singing one of my favorite songs and I’m dancing with someone I previously thought was the love of my life.
But that was before he broke me. Before I turned cold and heartless.
This is too much. I hate who he turned me into. Tears well in my eyes and as the song ends,
I need to get away from him. “I’m going to go and freshen up.”
“Violet.”
I march out of the hall and out into the cold air, the rain has stopped now.
“Violet,” I hear him call from behind me.
“Just leave it, Gabe.” I want to get away, I don’t trust myself to be with him right now. I go to go down to the quad, and as I tread onto the first step, my footing slips from underneath me.
I fall and hear the crack of my head hitting the concrete stairs on the way down. I roll and roll and tumble and fall down the entire flight of stairs.
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Pain, blood…darkness…nothing.
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