Chapter 25
“He called over yesterday to ask me what kind of ring you would want.” I stare at her,
horrified.
And he’s going to go all out with a grand proposal, and I just want you to be excited when he does it, you know?” The walls begin to close in around me.
“Russel is a great guy, Violet.” She takes my hand across the table.
My eyes well with tears. “Why would he want to get married?”
“Because he loves you and you’ve been together for two years now. You guys are great together.”
“And you told me because…”
“Because I knew you would react like this and I wanted it to be to me and not him. He
‘doesn’t deserve to see your face fall.”
Sheer terror begins to run rampant through my body. “I don’t want to get married, Deb.”
“Why not?”
Her silhouette blurs and I get a lump in my throat, unable to articulate myself.
“Russel is a great guy,” she tells me.
“I know he is.”
“And you two have great chemistry, and the sex is great.”
“I know.”
“And he loves you and he’s great with the kids. Remember how incredible he was when Biddy died?” I put my head into my hands.
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You should be jumping from the rooftops in excitement.”
should.”
“The only reason I told you is because deep down, I knew you wouldn’t be.”
“How?” I ask.
“What?“.
“How did you know I wouldn’t be excited?”
She stares at me for a beat. “I watch the two of you together and it’s obvious that his affection is greater than yours. His commitment to the relationship is stronger than yours. He’s one hundred percent all in, and you’re…just not.”
“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me,” I whisper. “Russel is my dream guy, everything about him is perfect. But…” My voice trails off.
“He’s not him.”
“This has nothing to do with Gabriel,” I snap, annoyed.
“Doesn’t it?” she snaps back. “I think it does. I think you’re still hopelessly in love with
Gabriel Ferrara, and no man, no matter how perfect he is will ever live up to him.”
“That’s complete bullshit. I haven’t thought of Gabriel in years.”
“Violet.” She squeezes my hand in hers. “You need to learn to love what’s good for you.”
Her silhouette blurs.
“Russel is good for you.” She gives me a sad smile. “He loves you.”
“I know.”
“If you don’t love him enough to marry him, you need to stop being selfish and let him go so
that he can find someone else.”
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screw up my face in tears. “I don’t want to lose him.”
Then don’t.” She smiles. “Marry him, be happy. Because that’s what you deserve. A man that worships the ground you walk on.”
The thought of marrying Russel rolls my stomach, in fact the thought of marrying anyone rolls my stomach.
“Please, Violet. Think on this, don’t mess up a perfect relationship because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared, Deb, that isn’t it.”
What is it, then?”
“The reality is…” sadness fills me to say this out loud, “…something is missing with Russ.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. If I knew, I would fix it.”
Gabriel
I slide the king into place. “Checkmate.” Mark rolls his eyes.
“Beating you is becoming boring.” I sigh.
“I only play with you because you pay me to,” he replies dryly.
I chuckle and sip my scotch.
“Why are we playing chess on a Saturday night, anyway?” he asks.
My eyes roam over to the wall of windows and the twinkling New York lights way down below. “I don’t know.” I sip my scotch. “Do you ever get the feeling that there is something * missing?”
“How so?”
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don’t know, I have everything…and yet.”
If you want something more when you live the life you do, then the rest of us mere mortals are screwed,” he replies.
I sip my drink again as I drift into deep thought. “Maybe I should get married.”
“Maybe.” He shrugs. “Ariana is…” “Perfect.” I cut him off.
He nods.
We start a new game of chess as we both fall into our own thoughts. “I always thought when I met the one, I would be chomping at the bit to make it legal,” I say as I think out
loud.
“Not sure if I’ll ever get married, to be honest,” Mark replies.
“I want children.”
“You need children to pass all this crap down to.” He gestures around my apartment.
“For the record, my eighty–million–dollar penthouse is not crap.”
He chuckles. “But does it make you happy?”
“No.” My eyes roam around the penthouse. “Doesn’t appear to.”
“So are you going to marry Ariana?”
“No.”
“Who are you going to marry then, if not her?”
“I don’t know. Ariana is beautiful and adoring, Italian and everything I should want. We’ve been together for over a year and I do love her.”
“But you’re not in love with her?”
d
apte
Maybe I’m incapable of it.”
Probably.” He thinks for a moment. “You owe me five hundred bucks.”
“For what?”
A
“I’m not being your therapist for free, you know.”
“What solution have you given me, you just told me I’m incapable of love,” I fire back. “And
since when did your price rise?” He chuckles. “The truth is costly.”
Iwalk into my apartment just on six and see rose petals scattered up the hall.
What the hell is this?
“Ariana?” I call, confused. As I keep walking, more rose petals. “Ariana?” I turn the corner
and see a huge love heart on the floor made of rose petals with flickering candles and
music and Ariana is on one knee.
No.
“What…”
“I love you.” She smiles up at me. “I know you’re supposed to be the one to ask, but I can’t
wait any longer.” No.
“Sweetheart…I just.”
“Will you marry me, Gabriel?” she asks hopefully as she looks up at me.
My heart sinks. The very last thing I want to do is hurt this beautiful woman.
“I love you so much,” she whispers through tears. “Make me the happiest woman alive and
become
my husband.”
And this is it, the moment where I have to choose what I know is good for me. I drop to my knees in front of her, torn between begging for forgiveness that she has to put up with me and the need to run as far away as I physically can. “Yes.” I softly kiss her lips.
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“Yes what?”
Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Seven years to the day after Violet left Ferrara Media.
I glance up at the sign hanging over the door.
ELEVEN
MADISONPARK
I push through the door and walk right on in. “Good afternoon, Mr. Ferrara, your table is
this way, sir.” The waiter nods with a smile.
“Thank you.” I follow him through the restaurant and see my brother Alessio sitting with
my mother at her regular table by the window.
She breaks into a broad smile as she sees me.
“Mama.” I kiss her two cheeks.
T
“Ciao, mio caro Gabriel.” (“Hello, my darling Gabriel.“) She smiles.
“Ales.” I pat my brother on the shoulder before sitting at the table.
Alessio pours me a glass of wine and passes it over. “Glad you’re here, Mom can lecture you now.” He raises his wineglass before taking a huge gulp.
My eyes flick up to my mother. “Che succede, mamma? Qualcosa non va?” (“What’s wrong,
Mama?“)
“He canceled his date with Arabella.” She scowls.
‘Alessio looks over at me, deadpan, and I chuckle.
“If you like Arabella so much, you should date her yourself,” he replies dryly.
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He worked for me back when Gracie was here.
wonder…
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