Chapter 54
“Let’s go see Mom.” I take Lucia’s hand and walk down the hall with a spring in my step.
She wrote about me on a napkin…and she kept it. Things are looking up.
“Everything all right?” Mark’s eyes flick up to meet mine in the rearview mirror as we drive to the airport. “You’re very quiet.”
Irun my tongue over my teeth. “What are the ingredients in scrambled eggs?”
“Eggs.” He frowns. “Milk, maybe cheese.” His eyes meet mine again. “Why do you ask?”
“I just ate scrambled eggs that tasted like fish and were laced with eggshells.” I wipe my mouth with a tissue as my stomach rolls.
“Really?”
“You have no idea how bad her cooking is.” I wipe my mouth again to try to get rid of this vile taste in my mouth.
He smiles to himself in the front seat.
“Not in the least bit funny.”
“Actually, it is.”
“Yeah well…” I turn my attention out the window. “If I die, tell the police who poisoned me.
“Sure thing.”
“I’ll be moving out here on the weekend.”
“Permanently?”
Thursday through to Monday morning each week.” “Oh.” He continues to drive.
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“You have your own house on the property I’ve rented. Although I understand if you don’t want to be here. You can stay in New York, I mean… let’s face it, this place is a fucking
hump.”
“I’ll come.” His eyes flick up to meet mine. “I kind of like it here.” He turns the corner into the airport. “And besides, I go where you go, remember?”
“I give him a lopsided smile and nod in a silent thank you.
Mark is the only person who goes wherever I go, whenever that is.
At a time in my life where everything is unknown, his steadfast presence is a calming force.
“How did it go last night, with Violet I mean?” he asks.
“Well…” I run my hand over my stubble as I think. “She told me she hates me.”
“Okay.” He drives as he listens. “And the kids?”
“We tell them who I am on the weekend.”
“How does it feel to have two children?”
I twist my lips. “Terrifying.”
“So…what’s on today, boss?” He smiles as we pull up at the airport. “First stop. My mother.”
The plane touches down onto the tarmac and I immediately dial Frank’s number.
“Hello, Mr. Ferrara.”
“Where is my mother?”
“She’s at a charity lunch for the Ferrara Institute at Town Hall.”
I clench my jaw, annoyed. “What time does that finish?” “It goes well into the evening, sir.”
Fuck’s sake.
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Fine, call me tomorrow when she’s up and about.”
Yes, sir.”
I hang up and glare out the window as I imagine how tomorrow is going to go.
Twenty million dollars is all my happiness is worth.
The city lights twinkle over New York. I pour myself a glass of scotch and place it on my desk beside the box that I got from beneath Violet’s bed. I’ve been anxiously waiting all day to get to this box, what did she mean when she wrote on that napkin?
I take the lid off the box, sit down and slowly begin to sift through it, there’s photos and note cards, a weird combination of things that don’t really go together but they all seem to be from around the time that Violet was pregnant.
I pick up a piece of paper that has been ripped out of a book.
The Lord knew that I would miss him so much that one baby couldn’t fill the hole that he
left So he gave me two.
For a long time I stare at her handwriting and I don’t know what the hell kind of box this is, but it’s fucking depressing.
With a big sip of scotch, I dig a little deeper and find a diary, the cover is creased as if it has been taken everywhere. I open it up and read the entry.
I went to New York to tell him about our
baby.
He refused to see me and I’ve never been so
humiliated in all of my life.
Or heartbroken.
can’t see this page for the tears, I don’t
can’t
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know if I can do this alone.
He’s given me no choice. Alone I am.
I close my eyes in regret.
My heart twists as I think back to that day, if only I had handled things differently. If only I had gone down to see her, would things be different now….would my children know me?
My vision blurs and, feeling like the biggest piece of shit on earth, I keep digging through the box until I get to a pastel pink–and–blue congratulations baby card and I open it up.
Vee,
You were a rock star in birth and we are so proud of you.
Love,
Mom and Dad.
She didn’t even tell her mom and dad about me. I picture her with two little babies and
nobody knowing who the father is and my heart hurts.
She really has done this all alone.
I can’t imagine what it would be like having a child and not being able to tell anyone who the father is. Did they ask her questions, or did she just lie straight from the beginning?
I think back to my mother’s offer of twenty million dollars and what an insult that is. If she had wanted the money, she could have taken it years ago.
There’s a black velvet box underneath everything and I frown and open it, the diamond tennis bracelet I bought for Violet is inside. Carefully strapped into place, it’s sparkling and looks brand new, as if never been worn.
Why would she wear it, she hates you, remember?
